Monday, October 8, 2007

"Family Guy"/"American Dad" Review and Recap - October 8, 2007

Family Guy
American Dad


Original Air Date: October 8, 2007

Jeff L - TwoCents Staff Writer

Family Guy “Believe It or Not, Joe’s Walking on Air”
The guys are hanging out at the Drunken Clam doing manly stuff until the ladies show up for their girl’s night out. They start dancing and take over the bar. It’s a bigger disaster than Jack Black’s last movie The Unconventional Butler. The ladies say they might make the Clam their regular hang-out spot and Peter pulls out a gun and shoots himself, then wakes up and says he was having a Scrubs fantasy moment. Quagmire says it’s the best show you’re not watching, but Cleveland doesn’t like shows that cut away from the plot of the story for some bullcrap. Cut to Hilter on a unicycle juggling fish.
Six weeks and $8,000 later, Quahog Men’s Club is born in Peter’s yard in a cool fort that Peter used an entire wall from his house to build. They sit around talking about manly stuff and drinking beer. Later the Quahog Man Club inaugural ball is a huge success. Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble even make it to the party. Stewie wants some Anacin, but Brain doesn’t think they even make it anymore.
Inside the house, the ladies think about crashing the party at the Men’s club. The women join the party and start dancing. Bonnie sits next to Joe and Joe tells her she should dance too. He’s depressed because he feels like he’s holding Bonnie back from having fun.
The next day Joe is feeling worse and wishes he could walk so Bonnie wouldn’t have to spend her life taking care of him in his wheelchair. He puts on his hand shoes and takes out the garbage walking on his hands, for some reason. Joe and Peter head to the hospital to check out the leg transplant. The doctor sounds like Peter’s father-in-law and they have a funny scene talking back and forth about how they sound exactly the same. Joe goes under the knife and the doctor pops in the How To video hosted by Jamie Farr.
Later, Joe walks about of the operating room and he’s still got that new leg smell. Joe wants to walk out but the doctors make him leave the hospital in a wheelchair. Back home Joe and Bonnie rekindle their romantic life while the other guys hang out at the bar watching a promo for the new Fox reality show Who Wants to Marry Corky. Joe shows up and takes the guys rock climbing where Spiderman has to save Cleveland. Cut to the Joe-bra Khan karate dojo. Joe kicks the guys asses, literally. There IS no mercy in that dojo. Then there’s a big dance number.
The guys decide they can’t hang out with Joe anymore because they are lazy and his new legs are causing him to run wild, but Joe doesn’t like hanging out with them anymore either, since they are all too lazy so he gets a similar group of new friends who are more active. The guys start auditioning for a replacement for Joe but the candidates make them realize that they miss Joe. They go to his house where Joe is moving out on Bonnie. The guys decide they have to “re-cripple” Joe. Peter, Cleveland and Quagmire all attack him with a pipe, a baseball bat and a golf club, but Joe defends himself and beats the men to a bloody pulp, but Bonnie shows up and shoots Joe five or six times until he takes the gun from her because she’s a terrible shot and he shoots himself in the spine.
Later, things are back to normal at the Clam and Joe’s back in his wheelchair. The gang’s all back to normal…except they are all in bandages from the beating Joe put on them. 3.5 out of 5 stars.

American Dad “Meter Made”
It’s a Goodfellas riff with Stan flashing back to his glory days of 12 days ago when he was a meter maid. Flashback to 12 days ago, Hayley wants to model nude for an art class and the Smith house is being used as a dog poop area on the 16th annual Parade of Homes.
Stan and Francine go out for a nice meal, but they can’t get a table because Stan isn’t as important as the used car salesman who gets the best table in the joint. Across town Hayley drops her towel for the art class, but Roger has snuck into the class and paints her nude. Later that night, Stan overhears Francine telling her sister that she wishes she was married to someone who was a big shot. Stan gets a ticket from a meter maid and he beats the man until he’s arrested and made to be a meter maid himself for two weeks of community service.
Everyone makes fun of Stan’s meter maid uniform and he’s sad that he can’t work at the CIA while he’s doing his community service. Upstairs, Roger has a naked painting of Hayley and she’s mad. Stan gets his meter maid training from a guy who’s using his meter maid status to get favors all over town. Stan takes to the blackmail and uses his newfound status to get the Smith house in the Parade of Homes. Turns out the neighbors all had their houses painted by a Jamaican celebrity house painter, but the Smith’s don’t have money for that so Stan tries blackmail, but the Jamaican can’t be blackmailed since he has diplomatic immunity.
Steve has taken a fancy to the naked painting, but since the face is cut off he doesn’t realize that it’s his sister. Both he and Hayley try to buy the painting from Roger who decides to hold an auction. Across town, Stan is emptying parking meters when he realizes that he can steal the money to pay for the celebrity house painting. The Smiths go on a crazy spending spree with quarters.
The art auction goes crazy and Francine buys the painting for $5,000 to hang in the dining room for the Parade of Homes. Forest Whitaker has a funny cameo as a parking internal affairs officer who may or may not be onto Stan’s embezzlement. He rushes home to destroy all the things they’ve bought while people are at their open house. Stan and Francine try to flush all the change and Roger gets angry that they destroyed the painting of Hayley. Steve finds out that the painting was Hayley and is horrified that he was attracted to her in the painting and Roger tells him to hill himself. Hayley beats up Roger.
The internal affairs officer shows up at the house, but it turns out that he’s just there to drop off the paper work about Stan’s community service being complete. He goes back to his boring life at the CIA where he’s carrying a guy in the trunk of his car to use for a retina scan in some third world country. He’s back to being just a regular, boring old schmuck. 3 stars out of 5.

Coming to "The Office" Convention

Over on TheTwoCents Branch Office we have been constantly updating with news about "The Office" Convention that is coming to Scranton, PA in a few weeks.

We have learned that Greg Daniels is bringing the writing team for Q&A, the first detailed schedule has been posted, and the following stars of the show have all been confirmed so far! According to the Convention's official site, more will be added still!

Andy Buckley (David Wallace), Melora Hardin (Jan), Angela Kinsey (Angela), Bobby Ray Shafer (Bob Vance), Leslie David Baker (Stanley), Brian Baumgartner (Kevin), Creed Bratton (Creed), Kate Flannery (Meredith), Mindy Kaling (Kelly), Oscar Nunez (Oscar), Phyllis Smith (Phyllis).

"Kyle XY" Get Renewed

Again the news is shared to us from the Hollywood Reporter...

"The mysterious Kyle and his missing belly button will be back for another season on ABC Family.

The cable network has greenlighted a third season of “Kyle XY,” ordering 10 new episodes from ABC Studios. A start date has not yet been determined because the series is now in production on the back-10 episodes of Season 2."

Read the article HERE.

NBC to Get "Outsourced"

Hollywood Reporter is stating that a new comedy from Ken Kwapis (The Office, Bernie Mac Show, Larry Sanders Show) will revolve around an office in India.

"NBC is heading east with "Outsourced," an India-set comedy project to be directed and exec produced by Ken Kwapis based on the indie comedy of the same name.

The single-camera project, which has received a premium script commitment from the network, centers on a customer service manager in Seattle whose department is outsourced to India, and he goes there to train his replacement. The project explores the clash of the Western and Indian cultures and chronicles the manager's romance with a local woman."

Read the article HERE.

Joining Jay

LISTINGS FOR `THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO'

Mondays-Fridays (11:34:30 p.m.-12:37 a.m. ET)

Monday, October 8: Guests include actor Ben Affleck, comedian Jim Norton and musical guest The Shins

Tuesday, October 9: Guests include Jaime Pressly, Brady Barr and Blue Man Group

Wednesday, October 10: Guests include actor Dana Carvey, actress Malin Akerman and musical guest Plain White T's

Thursday, October 11: Guests include actor Joaquin Phoenix, chef Gordon Ramsay and musical guest Vanessa Carlton

Friday, October 12: Guests include actress Christina Applegate, Bill O'Reilly and musical guest Alicia Keys

Monday, October 15: Guests include actor James Spader, news correspondent Lara Logan and musical guest Gloria Estefan

Tuesday, October 16: Guests include actress Reese Witherspoon, actor David Koechner and musical guest PJ Harvey

Wednesday, October 17: Guests include Senator Barack Obama and musical guest Keith Urban

Thursday, October 18: Guests include comedian Jerry Seinfeld, actress Alison Sweeney and musical guest Evanesence

Friday, October 19: Guests include actress Halle Berry, actor Greg Grunberg and musical guest Dwight Yoakam

"Simpsons"/"King of the Hill" Recap & Review - Oct. 8, 2007

The Simpsons
King of the Hill


Original air Date: October 7, 2007

Jeff L - TwoCents Staff Writer

The Simpsons
"Midnight Towboy"

Maggie is being very clingy. Marge tries unsuccessfully to put her to bed, while Homer, Lisa and Bart are having an Animal House toga party in the living room. Marge tries to make Maggie a bottle but the milk bottle breaks sending Homer into a crying jag and then out to the Kwik-E-Mart for more. Apu is out of milk – turns out Milk, Mentos and Lotto scratchoff dust make fuel for jet packs. Moe to the rescue. He pours Homer a glass that may either be milk or paint. Turns out it’s paint, but Homer keeps drinking it and Moe has to charge him.
Back home, Marge is totally acting like my mom trying to use the internet. Bart and Lisa take over using the computer after she accidenly buys a new freezer. They find her a website for a group that will come to the house and teach your baby to be self actualizing.
Homer tries to find milk in Shelbyville but their Welcome To Shelbyville billboard says “No Milk” so he keeps going to Ogdenville but it’s “Milk Free Since ‘73” so he must push on. Near Capital City he sees a billboard for M.I.L.K. but as he gets closer he sees that it’s only an add for Mr. T Is the Lion King playing at the Capitol City theater. A milk truck passes him on the road and he follows it to Guidopolis (Jersey) where the goomba run wild. They have milk though at the Mook-E-Mart, but Homer’s car gets towed by Louie (Matt Dillon).
Turns out being a tow jockey is a pretty sweet life so Louie sells Homer his own tow truck as long as he’ll stick to the Springfield territory. The next day Homer is out towing Bart around town on his skateboard and towing the bumpers off a few cars all around town. Back home, Marge is being taught how to let Maggie grow up by a crazy old hippie lady. Meanwhile, Homer is trying to tow away Arnie Pie’s helicopter while he’s flying over a fire hydrant but that can only lead to disaster. Later at Moe’s Homer is spending his new towing money on the guys but Lenny is double parked outside so Homer tows his car.
The next morning Maggie is getting her own breakfast when Homer stumbles home. Marge says she doesn’t want to live like this never seeing him anymore. Hey, when she married a man who would, years later and without warning, become a tow truck driver, she knew that the deal would eventually be. The rest of the town isn’t happy with Homer either so they launch a plot to get his towing license revoked. They plant a car just over the border into Guidopolis and trick Homer into towing the car, which makes Louie very, very angry. Turns out those in the towing game are strict about their territories.
Louie tows Homer to his very 80’s looking house, where he’s got a basement full of other tow truck drivers he’s locked up for towing in his territory. Louie makes Homer call home to explain that the Simpsons don’t need to come looking for him because he is working and don’t ask any questions if he doesn’t come home forever. Maggie, fearing thew worst, hops on Santa’s Little Helper and rides to Homer’s rescue. As a reward for rescuing him, Homer decides to give Maggie back her nose, but as he goes in to give it back he realizes “that’s Lisa’s nose.” Great, funny episode. 4 out of 5 stars.

King of the Hill
“The Power Puff Boys”

Bobby and Joseph are accosted by some football players. They aren’t trying to beat them up, they recruit Bobby and Joseph to be cheerleaders with the rest of the football team at the annual girls’ football game. Apparently they have girl football now. Who knew? Can the WNFL be far behind? Anyway, it’s quite an honor to be asked by the football team to join them, at least according to Hank who thinks it’s a good in with the team and their coach.
Subplot alert: Peggy wants in at the PTA and the PTA are none too happy about the boys making fun of cheerleaders by dressing in drag and cheerleading themselves.
Turns out being a “Power Puff” cheerleader is a noble tradition and that Hank and his buddies were cheerleaders for the even back in their football days. Lots of cross dressing jokes abound and the PTA shuts down the boys before the big game. Bobby’s not having it though and the boys tell the PTA that they are transsexuals to circumnavigate the rules since there’s an anti-sexual discrimination policy already in place and they can dress in drag and cheer all they want to at the big game. Not a lot of laughs tonight. Where’s Lucky when you need him? 2 out of 5 stars.

"Prison Break" Recap & Review - "Call Waiting"

Prison Break
“Call Waiting”


Original Air Date: October 1, 2007

Tom R - TwoCents Staff Writer

Linc presses the mysterious “Susan” for a phone call from Sarah to Michael to prove she’s alive, after a photo of her holding a newspaper offers clues to her and LJ’s whereabouts. He tells Linc, “If I can’t break Whistler out of here, you’re going to have to break them out from out there.” But by the end of the episode, some threads of ideas may be forming in his mind.

The only cell phone inside the prison is held by Lechero, who sees business slowing and wonders about loyalties. In order to get the phone, Michael blackmails Bagwell with exposing his past pedophilia. Bagwell manages to get the phone, and uses it to drive a wedge between Lechero and his current inner circle, who clearly don’t want him around.

During the call, Sara drops more clues, and Linc manages to discover where they are being held. Just as he bursts into the room, LJ is hustled out the back door.

Whistler is told that Scofield’s brother has the bird book. After Mahone tries to court his favor, Whistler tell Michael that he ran a chartered boat, and someone came to him to retrace the steps of one of his clients. But if he knows about Michael and Linc, he knows about The Company, so it would be easy for him to use that card.

Mahone gets what his public defender classifies as “good news”: He has a trial date in about a year, as opposed to the two years most foreigners get. Mahone tries to get his medication sent inside, but the defender refuses, even after Mahone tells him, “It would be good for everyone if I got that medicine”. He attacks the fence, and is almost shot by the guards.

Bellick tries to take a shoe from a dead prisoner, but is beaten to the punch by the prison’s barber. In order to get the shoe, he pretends to offer himself sexually, which raises something interesting: When Michael threatens to expose Bagwell’s past, he never mentions anything about homosexuality. The only gay storyline was dropped pretty early in the first season. Even the sexual connotation of the nickname Teabag (as opposed to T-Bag as a variation of his name) was implied but never pursued. So is the show being pressured to remove perceived gay slurs? If so, the scene here between Bellick and the barber seems to betray that. Just a random thought. Back to the plot points…

Looking for money, Sucre finds Linc to find the bag containing the Cooper money. Linc tells him the backpack is gone, and getting Michael out is priority one. Sucre wants to help, but feels it’s better to get back on the road…Linc was cleared, but he was not. Sucre leaves, but Linc finds him passed out at his doorstep when he returns from the failed attempt to free LJ. He receives a call from Susan, who tells him he will never try anything like that again. To be sure, she left him a box by the trash. Linc finds the package, lifts the lid…And the episode ends.

The new characters have been put into the loop quickly and effectively, raising just as many questions as the returnees brought with them. To run down just a few teasers…

Was Bagwell placed inside by The Company?
Is Whistler telling anything close to the truth about his book?
What is Susan’s history?
What is Mahone capable of without the meds?
We know Michael will break out somehow, but what happens then?

Prison Break airs Mondays at 8 PM on FOX. Episodes can also be viewed at the FOX website.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

"NUMB3RS" Recap & Review - "Hollywood Homicide"

NUMB3RS

“Hollywood Homicide”


Original Air Date:
October 5, 2007

KP –
TwoCents Head Writer


98,000 Out of Work Actors – 89.6 Liters of Water – 3 Friends – 30 Frames Per Second

It’s Will Traveler!! Oh, no. It’s Pyro!! Oh, no. It’ guest star Aaron Stanford who’s playing Brett Chandler on this one - a young famous actor who has a “Cribs” like home full of fancy things and of course lots and lots of ladies. Oh, and a dead girl in the tub….

All of this was captured on video by a friend of Brett and who has the tape now? Don Epps and company at the FBI of course. Through some crazy math and gumball analogies we get an ID on the girl – Andrea Barton who also shows up as a Jane Doe in the morgue. Hey look – Colby is back in the fold with the FBI where he’s going to sit tight until he’s reassigned. David, still not knowing what to say to Colby, heads over to Andrea’s apartment with Megan. There some mystery person is in the apartment and then tries to run over David with one of those mini cars. Getting a good look in the car window – it’s Andrea Barton driving! WHAT THE?!

Question – Why do TV cops always pull their guns and point them at suspects as they run away and NEVER shoot? I’d run too.

Yup, Andrea is still in the morgue. She was found dumped in a canyon. She was held under water to drown and was an only child. Anyone else thinking about plastic surgery? Special Agent Liz Warner (Aya Sumika), and Don’s girlie friend, is back this episode and teams up with Colby to head over to Brett Chandler’s house where they meet some more suspects, I mean characters, - Logan Oliver, Brett’s security, and Brett’s BFF Josh Ryan. We learn Brett’s brother Brian was killed in a car-jacking and their friend Pete was the friend visiting who filmed the opening death scene. “He spilt kind of sudden.” This is like Entourage gone bad.

Back at the Epps home, Amida lets herself in with her own key (oh la la), small talk with Papa Alan and Charlie fills her (us) in that the Friendship Dynamics paper he uses last week has interest from journalists for publication. By cleaning the fish tank, Charlie thinks he can figure out who the killer was. I love this stuff.

By the way – Andrea Barton – yeah, she had plastic surgery. Charlie and Larry head over to Brett’s house. Brett asks how solving crimes with math works – ah, the question we all ask watching this show! Brett calls it like something from the movies, but not as cool. At the plastic surgeon we find out that Andrea Barton and Tracey Meade were cut’ to look identical! Meade is the one who died. And both of their surgeries were paid for by Leslie Dennis – the “Melrose Madam”.

Colby brings Brett and his Entourage back to the FBI offices and they treat it like a field trip. There is now one random guy with them who we haven’t met yet this episode. We all know what that usually means, don’t we? Turns out he’s Brett’s manager – Mark. The field trip starts and ends in the interrogation room where Don questions them on knowing Andrea – enter Charlie where his “not cool” math pinpoints the size of the killer – matches Logan the security guy. Logan eyes Mark through the window. Tracey and Logan had a thing, but she was alive when he got out of that tub and Logan is about to tell them who did it as Mark runs in and pulls Logan out of the interview. Mmm Hmm. Liz gets a call from Logan “it’s all gone too far”. Don and Liz are off to meet Logan…he’s dead in his car off an embankment. Gun shot death – not a car accident.

DVD pirating, the Madam is back, and David and Megan show up at a club called Bedouin to find Kevin and Bryce Lee. Gun fight time. Someone gets shot! Wow. Tracey had leverage on Brett and company somehow and would in return get unreleased movies to give to the Logan brothers to sell. A jackal and lion scenario from Charlie tells us about game theory. Pete, the video taper, is found and tells Don that Josh and Logan didn’t want anyone to know about the dead girl. Alan says a funny line, which in the way this show works, gives Charlie something new to go on and voila – a new hypothesis and off David and Megan go to find Andrea Barton who isn’t surprised they are back.

Andrea spills the beans that Brett’s brother, Brian, wasn’t really killed in carjacking – Brett killed him! Accidentally of course. Brett is happy the weight is off his shoulders. But it wasn’t just Logan, Josh and Brett who know – Manager Mark did too! And Josh was with Brett when Logan was show – uh oh – what could this mean? Mark is on the run, shooting at Colby and Liz that’s what it means. Liz shoots Mark who’s holding a hostage. Mark isn’t dead, Brett is arrested for his brother’s death.

Colby gets a letter, his new assignment? We don’t know – yet. A nice family moment to end the episode as usually and we come to the end of our weekly trek through the Epps family adventure. See you all next week!

"Friday Night Lights" Recap & Review - "Last Days of Summer" (Season Premiere)

Friday Night Lights
“Last Days of Summer”


Original Air Date: October 5, 2007

Tiffiny F - TwoCents Staff Writer

Welcome back to Dillon, FNL fans!

We join the kids 8 months post-State championship at the local pool. Julie’s a lifeguard, Smash and Riggins are surrounded by ladies, Matt and Landry are together and discussing girl problems—it’s like we never left. First problem: Julie’s spending a lot of time talking to “The Swede”, a fellow (older) lifeguard, which doesn’t sit well with Matt. Second problem: Tami Taylor, heavily pregnant, goes into labor while at the pool, but Coach isn’t in Dillon.
Where has Eric Taylor been? Working for TMU in Austin, that’s where. He does manage to arrive in time for the arrival of little Grace Taylor, much to his wife’s relief. Also, want to know how to keep your teenage daughter from getting pregnant? Have her there in the delivery room while you give birth to her baby sister.

As for the football part of this show, there isn’t much to say—yet. There’s a new coach in town, some “hillbilly from Tennessee,” according to Buddy Garrity, who isn’t a welcome practice spectator in the new coach’s eyes. Bill McGregor is a tough character and the boys, especially Riggins, aren’t overly impressed with his new hard-nosed style. Oh, and did I mention Landry is trying out for the team? That Tyra sure has some influence on him.

Lyla Garrity has found a new path and it leads straight to Jesus. We see her getting baptized in the river as part of her rebirth. She and Riggins have a nice little confrontation when he sees her putting flyers for her teen Christian group on cars in the grocery store parking lot. I want to see more of this dynamic: Christian Lyla vs. Hedonistic Riggins.

Meanwhile, Coach is asked to go back to Austin a week earlier than planned and Tami is devastated. I’m not sure how the stress of him being away, leaving Tami with a new baby and a moody teenager, can possibly be good for their marriage. Speaking of marriages, the Garritys are still separated and Buddy sleeps at his dealership, which is looking more and more like a permanent arrangement.

Tyra has a stalker, and it’s the guy from last year who attacked her in the diner parking lot. He makes the mistake of following her and Landry to a convenience store, and while Landry’s inside getting some food, the stalker attacks Tyra again, but this time, Landry sees it and ends up clubbing him in the head with a pipe, and the stalker dies. Now what do they do with the body? Tyra suggests they throw it in the river, but Landry isn’t convinced.

We leave you with the state championship ring presentation ceremony and the sight of Landry suited up in a football uniform. Until next week, remember: clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose!

Final grade: A

"30 Rock" Recap & Review - "Seinfeld Vision (Season Premiere)"

30 Rock
"Seinfeld Vision"


Original Air Date: October 4, 2007

PG Ignacio - TwoCents Staff Writer

Our favorite head writer, Liz Lemon (Tina Fey), arrives to 30 Rockefeller Center, kindly greeting everyone she walks past by asking about their summer. She arrives to her “buddy,” Jack (Alex Baldwin). Without greeting he tells her to “Walk with me Lemon,” as if time must not be wasted and he must brief her on very important business to start the day.

Ahh, the second season of 30 Rock has arrived.

After Jack brags about his successful summer of programming that included shows like America’s Next Top Pilot, Are You Stronger Than A Dog, and M.I.L.F Island, he ignores Liz’s attempt to share her summer experience by letting her in on his first plan of the season – Seinfeld Vision. Jack wants to use NBC owned video footage of Seinfeld and digitally place him in current television programming to boost ratings. Clips of Law & Order: SVU, Heroes, and Deal Or No Deal are shown with obvious alteration, adding Seinfeld. Liz being the rational one in the conversation poses a great question, “Does Jerry Seinfeld know you’re doing this?” Answer: Of course not. Jack believes when Jerry gets back from Europe Seinfeld Vision will be a hit.

Liz starts her summer recap by declaring that she had a great summer. She started a summer quilt, practiced yoga twice a week, and wore flip-flops in public. She declares to Jack that she really believes that this will be her year. More importantly she lets Jack know that she and Floyd (Jason Sudeikis) have broken up due to distance and that she is over him. Jack quickly becomes the rational of the two and insists that Liz will not finish that quilt and she is not over Floyd. “This is my year,” she proclaims. She could be setting herself up for the complete opposite.

In other character updates, Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan) is moving into his dressing room because his wife kicked him out of their home after he was photographed with a transvestite that the tabloid mistaken to be his wife. Liz assigns Kenneth (Jack McBrayer) the NBC page to take of anything non-sexual that Mrs. Jordan would have done for Tracy. Tracy labels Kenneth his “office wife.” They carry that theme throughout the episode, acting like an old married couple.

Jenna Maloney (Jane Krakowski), Liz’s close friend and co-star of the Girlie Show, has gained about 30 pounds during a summer run of performances consuming 32 pieces of pizza a week as a cast member of the Broadway musical, Mystic Pizza (see Mystic Pizza movie starring Julia Roberts). Jack warns Liz that Jenna must either lose 30 pounds or gain 60 pounds, otherwise anything in between there is no place for her on television.

After Liz enters the writers’ room to inform everyone that she has broken up with Floyd and is over him as well, Cerie (Katrina Bowden), Liz’s assistant asks Liz and Jenna to be bridesmaids in her wedding. Liz and Jenna end up agreeing and Cerie hugs Liz and tells her she now has “something old” for her wedding. While they are trying on dresses Liz grows to like one of the wedding dresses and the salesperson tries to persuade her to purchase it.

Enter Jerry Seinfeld (himself). Jerry returns to NBC to speak to Jack about information he has received that he will be appearing in shows he has never filmed. Jack does his best to dodge Jerry, sending Liz to occupy Jerry by giving him a tour of the offices. Jerry has a very quick heart-to-heart with Liz, explaining to her that she’s not really over Floyd. She agrees and wants to call Floyd. Jerry finally meets up with Jack only to be disappointed with Jack’s pitch of Seinfeld Vision. Jerry agrees to come back in two days to give Jack time to come up with a better presentation of Seinfeld Vision.

Liz calls Floyd, but a woman answers the phone. This makes Liz depressed and pushes her to make a compulsive decision…she went and bought that wedding dress. While trying it on in her office, the writers catch her with it on and give her a hard time. Just then Jack needs Liz to stall Jerry a second time before his Seinfeld Vision presentation. Liz greets Jerry wearing the wedding dress and breaks down crying about her attempt to call Floyd. This is the highlight of the episode – Liz’s “crying” voice sounds very much like a Jerry Seinfeld impression and Jerry doesn’t appreciate it, no matter how honest Liz is about her tone when she cries.

In the end – Jack has no real quality presentation for Jerry and begs to him on his hands and knees to allow him to use Seinfeld Vision. They negotiate back and forth finally agreeing to use Seinfeld Vision for one night only in exchange for things such as money to a charity of Jerry’s choice, Al Roker in a bee costume to promote Bee Movie, and Jerry disclosing his secret vacation spot. As for Liz Lemon, we find her depressed on the set, wearing the wedding dress, pigging out on two separate meals – ham and green beans in one foil container, a burger meal in another. Jack picks her spirits up and reminds her that it is going to be “our year.”

PG’s Two Cents: This was a great season premiere for 30 Rock. It was very funny and entertaining. It kept consistent with the first season’s story line of Liz’s relationship problems, Jack’s wacky ideas, and the rest of the cast’s abnormal behavior. If the writers of this show, headed by Tina Fey, can keep this kind of entertainment going every episode of this season, there’s a great chance you will see them nominated for Best Comedy again. If you missed the first episode go watch it online and tune in at its regularly scheduled time. You won’t regret it. Come back and read me next week!

"CSI" Recap & Review -

CSI
"A La Cart"


Original Air Date: October 4, 2007

Jillyree - TwoCents Staff Writer

The long absent Conrad Ecklie is adamantly trying to reach Gil Grissom on his cell phone. No answer. A very battered Sara enters CSI and is questioned by Ecklie as to how long she and Grissom have been “intimate”. Sara answers two years.

Somewhere else in Vegas, a ball goes bouncing down the road to a classical tune, and is found the next morning by some guys doing community service work.

Wait! That’s not a ball!

Some kid’s cappa got detated!!

Nick, Grissom, and Greg are called out to the scene, where Grissom quotes “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.”

We see that Ecklie is making his 4th attempt to call Grissom, and is ignored…again. As Grissom walks ahead following a blood trail, Nick and Greg discuss the now-revealed relationship. Greg claims he knew. I think he’s full of BS. They find the body of the kid in a ravine. His hand is also missing.

The body is taken back to the morgue where David and Doc Robbins start their usual prep of the body. Nick takes prints of the hand still attached to Wendy and they get an ID: Vincent Bartley.

At another crime scene, we find Catherine and newly-divorced Warrick investigating the death of a Hugh Hefner type named Huxley who was stabbed in the head. He and his “kitties” were dining at Blind, the newest and stupidest themed restaurant ever. The deal: You eat. In pitch dark. And your waiters? They’re blind. Brass questions the owner of the restaurant , and she claims that when you lose the sense of sight, the taste buds go into overdrive, giving you a sensual dining experience. I now know more about the way the taste buds work than I ever cared to.

Cath and Warrick search the dining room, and find blood on the chair, the tablecloth, and on the floor. Also, one of his “kitties” sweater is covered in blood. She thought he had just fallen asleep, which apparently, was common place for Hux.

At Blind, Warrick finds a pair of night vision goggles. Folks, let me tell you, there was some twisted stuff going on in this restaurant: women cheating on their husbands while hubby is sitting across the table (thus the glasses - hubby got smart and caught her!), drunk dudes feeling up Hux’s Kitties, a little oral action from the newly engaged couple…no wonder no one noticed there was a murder in process!

Hodges clues Nick in on the fact that the black powder that they found on the kid is tire rubber…finely graded like slicks, the tires they use on go-karts.

Greg and Nick go to the local track and chat up the cute girl at the counter. She tells them that “Vinnie Vroom” won all 3 of his races the night before, and that he kept beating “Hot Rod”. (That’s what she said!) It turns out that Hot Rod(ney) is at the track and when Nick and Greg call out to him, he takes off running. A chase ensues and ends with Nick drawing his gun on the kid and calling him a “dumbass”. They find Vinnie’s missing belt in the cab of Rodney’s truck. It’s bloody, and Rodney is taken into custody.

Warrick and Catherine are still investigating at Restauranto Bizarro, and are interviewing a blind waiter. Oh yeah, like he’s gonna be of any help. What good could he do? Tell them what the murderer felt like? Sounded like? They do, however, notice that his tie has blood on it.

Back at HQ, Brass interrogates Rodney, and finds out that he didn’t kill Vinnie. We get an elaborate flashback of the night of the incident: they take a couple of go-karts out on a stretch of highway for a REAL race, and the two weave in and out of traffic. Rodney wins, and turns around to see Vinnie’s headless body, still driving the cart, veer off into the ravine. Scared, he dumps the body, takes the belt to tether the two carts together, and gets the heck out of Dodge.

Finally, Ecklie catches Grissom in his office. He asks Grissom the same question he asked Sara, telling him that it’s mandatory. Grissom says 9 years. NINE YEARS! The show’s only been on EIGHT!!

In one of my favorite pieces of continuity on any show I watch, Doc Robbins takes a picture of Huxley for his “Celebs on my Slab” scrapbook. They have determined that Huxley was stabbed in the head with an ink pen, which they find in “Bloody Sweater” Kitty’s purse. She immediately lays blame on the Chef/Owner of the restaurant, since, you know, the chef was a former Kitty and was scorned by Hux.

Meantime, Warrick and Catherine process the evidence and find a fingerprint in ink hidden by the blood. It belongs to, get this…THE BLIND WAITER! He was trying to frame the chef, because she stole his idea for the restaurant. Dude…you’d have been better off just letting her have it. It would have tanked eventually, once the novelty wore off.

After checking out the go-karts used in the street race, Nick and Greg discover a weird spatter pattern. It turns out that an 18 wheeler blew a tire at exactly the same time kid passed by, and it Ed Trucked him. The ballistic gel dummy proves it, and Grissom smiles.

Sitting outside the go-kart track, Grissom and Sara discuss their conversations with Ecklie. Sara laughs when she hears Grissom’s answer, and they remember back to the day they first met. Sara had a ponytail, and wanted to ask Grissom out to dinner then. Sara announces that she’s moving to Swing Shift, so that they don’t have to give up their relationship. They walk into the track a happy couple, and see everyone else on the team riding around, having fun. Nick calls Grissom “Ricky Bobby” and Grissom refrains from joining the fun until Sara tells him it’s OK.

As she watches them all driving around having fun, the realization that she is no longer one of “their team” sets in, and she cries.

3 of 5 stars. Not as good as last week, and I really don’t like the looks of things for Sara.

"Grey's Anatomy" - "Love/Affection"

Grey's Anatomy
"Love/Addiction"


Original Air Date: October 4, 2007

Amanda - TwoCents Staff Writer

I feel that this episode was somewhat boring. Maybe it was because I was really tired.

The one thing I saw as quite significant would be Chandra Wilson's portrayal as Bailey. Can anyone say her acting is almost Oscar worthy already? I support it. Though, I do support Sandra Oh's barely-there sadness underneath the rigidness as Cristina just as equally.

George goes to tell Callie about him loving Izzy ... and then doesn't ... and then decides to, and ... oh wait, he gets begged by Callie to not tell her. What happened to the George that was in the elevator performing heart surgery during the first season? There seems to be a loss of strength in the quirky intern.

Finally there is some action. Thank Alex for something exciting. He's grown softer too, but it suits him more. He is quietly maturing into a strong doctor in the hospital. He figured out that the couple had been running a meth lab and argued with the father on the baby's side. It earned him a smack in the head and the kidnapping of the baby, but at least Alex had the guts to stand up to the man.

All Meredith does is avoid; she avoids love and she avoids family. In this episode, she's avoiding both. She's trying to emotionally give up on Derek and avoid Lexi too. Will she ever realize that not everything can be avoided?

Izzy has another episode in which she feels she doesn't belong. In the beginning of last season, she was depressed over the death of Denny, was detached and unlike the bubbly Izzy during the whole of last season. She wanders around the hospital now, trying to find a place to belong. Izzy needs something to go right in her storyline now.

Cristina is strong. She does have this vulnerable side, the last moment we see if the episode, where she is sitting and looking at her now empty living room that was once filled with wedding gifts. Burke's belongings are gone; his mother went and talked to Cristina, helping her to let go of Burke and to face the fact that he isn't coming back.

"ER" Recap & Review - "In A Different Light"

ER
"In A Different Light"


Original Air Date: October 4, 2007

Amanda - TwoCents Staff Writer

Predictable.

A duo comes in, one a 16 year old boy, the other his tutor. It was easy to tell that they had some other type of relation, and when the woman found out she was pregnant, you knew that it was the kid's child.

A man comes in, shot by so claimed "drive by shooting" and is a suspect in a robbery. Turns out that he lies the entire time, that he was the robber, and the surgeon "unloses" the bullet once he gives the man a chance but finds out the truth about him. The bullet is how the police will identify him because the bullet must match the gun. The child with Gates in the ICU knows what is wrong with him, but wouldn't tell anyone until Gates paid attention to him.

Neela seems fine now, she is released from the hospital and goes to Abby's apartment.

Abby continues to be bossed around by Moretti, starting the new protocol which is treating patients in the waiting room.

Pratt wants Moretti's job and thinks that Moretti is all wrong for the job. He gets refused and is told to ask in a year. Is this a sign that E.R. will have another season next year?

Friday, October 5, 2007

"Life" Recap & Review - "Tear Assunder"

Life
"Tear Assunder"


Original Air Date: October 4, 2007

Maty - TwoCents Senior Staff Writer

Welcome to the second episode of LIFE. Flashbacks take us into the present. The flashbacks give us a slice of what Charlie Crews went through and then it’s into our story.

It starts with the death of a new bride. Do we really care about the crime story in this show? Don’t think so. If we did we would watch any one of the many LAW & ORDER programs that litter the NBC airwaves. I would recommend SVU because it stars Chris Meloni who was incredible on OZ. (A show everyone should rent.) So, the husband freaks out and assaults Detective Crews. They take the fight to the pool and eventually he becomes the main suspect. It’s obviously not him. We all know that, and will have to spend an entire episode to learn what we already knew.

Cut to the interviews of the Crews case. Head detective Carl Ames (retired). He believes that Tom and his wife, the murdered, were skimming of the top of a bar they owned together and Charlie killed him for that. He’s convinced that the DNA evidence doesn’t matter.

More investigation.

Then something interesting happens - a young redhead shows up at Charlie’s door. Ted played by Adam Arkin answers the door. We learn later on that this young woman is going to marry Charlie’s father. Charlie hasn’t returned any of his calls. Another mystery.

Investigation continues.

Charlie’s ex-partner invites him to a BBQ and we learn that he has Charlie's old badge and gun for some reason. Also, because he supported Charlie, he was thought to be dirty as well and no one would be his partner. His loyalty to Charlie cost him professionally and personally.

Even more investigating.

Then Charlie, pretending to be a buyer, has set up an opportunity to check out the house where the murders took place. With photos of the crime scene he looks through all the rooms and realizes that the head detective Ames removed something important from the report. It seem that the killer murdered the husband, wife and son, but the youngest girl was safe because she was at a sleep over. It seems her bed was unmade and she was probably there, but left out of the report on purpose.

Blah blah blah investigation. It turns out that one of the husband’s friends got drunk and tried to steal the wedding money and ended up killing the bride. Zzzzzzzzz

Now the more interesting part...

Although Charlie is now out of prison the isolation may be worse. He can be with others but nobody wants to be with him. The exception of course is total outsiders who recognize him as being famous for his case. What’s interesting about him is the way that isolation makes him interact with evidence better than people. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to interact with people he just does it differently. Softer, stranger, then most tv cops. I’m still going to watch because I hoping we start to get episodes that are just about Charlie trying to solve his own case.

I give this episode a C+. The case wasn't as bad as I made it seem, it’s just not nearly the most interesting part of this show.

"Big Shots" Recap & Review - "Tall, Dark, & Hairless"

Big Shots
"Tall, Dark, & Hairless"


Original Air Date: October 4, 2007

Shawn P - TwoCents Staff Writer

Previously on Big Shots, everyone whored around like Caligula. This week everyone gets a small dose of humanity and plucks their eyes out in a futile attempt at penance before their Maker. Or everyone keeps whoring around. It’s one of those.

Brody plans “sex night” with the missus from his G5, which fails to light Lady Macbeth’s fire. So she asks him to wax his testicles. I can’t even make a joke here. It’s all very sad. If Brody says yes, he gets two sex nights a week. Poor dumb Brody. Duncan takes Brody up to the 16th tee, tells him to look out across the water hazard as he starts a soothing story – “someday you’re going to grow a spine, Brody, and only then you’ll be able keep rabbits, because rabbits are something Lady Macbeth does not abide. When you get that spine, then nobody will ever be mean to you again, Brody.” At this point Duncan shoots Brody in the back of the head. I wish. No, Brody gets the wax.

MC Mixworthy’s still sweating up sheets with his whore Marla. (And, believe it or not, Josh Malina is freaking ripped. I’d lay odds on him being able to absolutely kick Vartan’s ass, for real.) Marla’s still under cover as an interior decorator, but now she’s dumped the smooth MC to start hitting on Wendy? I don’t really follow it either. Wendy defends Marla to the therapist, and arranges them to have one big group session together. More fun than a barrel of monkeys, and just as sophisticated.

Duncan’s Tranny Hooker shows up at his work, but he’s still stuck on his ex, Elizabeth. This of course means he sleeps with the Entrepreneur profiler, who runs the Tranny Hooker story, because there is no correlation between sex and emotion on this show. Duncan shows up to the golf course with Tranny Hooker. You think he signed her in as a guest at the club house? They don’t just let anyone walk around these kind of white shoe clubs. Anyway, Tranny Hooker feels guilty about taping Duncan. We meet Terrance Hill, Duncan’s sworn enemy (over something gruesomely described with a double-entendre as a non-automotive parking-lot “rear-ending” between Duncan and the sister). Terrance is now dating Elizabeth. Follow all of that? Can you check my math? Because I’ll show my work, but I’d say everyone on this show has a 78% probability of at least one STD. Brody breaks into the profiler’s apartment, then gets to listen to Duncan and the profiler get sweaty from… under the bed. Yuck. Terrance is behind getting the Tranny Hooker story into the magazine. Duncan gets it’s squashed, but Tranny Hookers don’t go gently into their goodnights, as he/she gets pinched by the cops carrying a black book of names, presumably Duncan’s included.

In Vartan-news, James dodges his whore wife. Of course, we learn his dead boss was being slowly poisoned, and since whore wife was sleeping with dead boss, James becomes the prime suspect. Whore wife tells the cops she was undecided about leaving her husband for dead boss. Wow, that’s a real vote of confidence for James. Hey, you were definitely a top two choice! Then dead boss’s wife confesses, and no one cares. Next stop on the Vartan-express, Divorce City!

So instead of next week on Big Shots… I’m going to leave you with a word problem. If anyone cares to solve it, I’ll work the phrase of your choice into the next Big Shots review. That’s right, whatever phrase you want, I’ll find a way to smoothly insert it into the October 11th Review. Post your answer in the comments section, along with the phrase you want to see. There is a real answer, but I’ll accept just about anything close or anything creatively far off.

***

BIG SHOTS COUNTRY CLUB BRAIN TEASER OF THE DAY:

Out on the links, it begins to rain. James Auster (Vartan) wants to get Duncan Collinsworth (McDermott), Brody Johns (Titus), and Karl Mixworthy (Malina) from the 7th Hole Green to the Club House. His golf cart is only a two-seater. Vartan can afford to ride because he’s got the metabolism of a 12-year old Belarusian gymnast. The rest of the group walked, because they all have body-mass index ceilings in their contracts. They’re all too important to walk in the rain, so they all need to get a ride in this cart to get back to the Club House.

BUT: If James leaves Karl and Brody alone, in a fit of machismo Karl takes advantage of the only guy wimpier than he and waxes Brody's testicles, ending their friendship.

AND: If James leaves Duncan and Karl alone, Duncan has Tranny Hooker flashbacks and fondles Karl in his bathing suit areas, meaning their friendship is over.

YET: When James is around, everyone is so bored by what he says that no one gets shaved or fondled.

How does James get everyone to the Club House and keep all friendships intact? For bonus points (tie-breaker) – what drink would they each order when they get to the Club House and why?

"Supernatural" Recap & Review - "The Magnificent Seven"

Supernatural
"The Magnificent Seven"


Original Air Date: October 4, 2007

Jenny D - TwoCents Staff Writer

It’s Jenny D. welcoming you to Season 3 of Supernatural. And man. Was it all that I hoped for and more!

As expected, Dean shows his true colors being a horny slob; eating whatever he likes, not taking care of himself, and then there were the “Double mint Twins”. While Dean is enjoying the end of his life, Sam is concerned how he is going to get his brother out of this mess. While you can tell Sam does not approve of Dean’s lifestyle, he says nothing.

Five days have passed since the gates of Hell were opened, yet things have stayed quiet. Bobbie has been looking into possible demon signs and the trio Kansas. A family sits dead in front of their TV and appears to be mummified. When they hear a noise, they go to check it out and discover Tamara and Isaac snooping around. They tackle Dean but Bob recognizes them, so they back off. The two of them are also demon hunters investigating what is happening. They do not want to work with Sam and Dean because they blame them for the war that they are all having to fight. The five of them leave as we get our first glimpse of Ruby, one of the new female leads.
A man from the beginning who gets possessed goes to a shoes store and encourages a woman to go after a pair of shoes. Unfortunately another woman has them and they are the last pair. It didn’t stop her though. She followed the woman with the shoes out of the store and proceeds to beat her head into her car windshield until she gets the shoes. Wow, that was pretty nasty! Good thing they are on late!

Bobby goes to investigate the killing and finds out she is not a demon….They decide to follow the man from the shoe store to a bar. Little did they know that is was a demon bar. Unfortunately for Tamara and Isaac, they showed up to the bar and found out the hard way. They made Isaac drink drain cleaner. Which he was a little to willing to do. I thought that this whole part was great. They did a great job setting up the main focus of the story and in such a major way. Introducing……… The Seven Deadly Sins, in possessed human form. One touch from them, a human performs the sin.

Dean, Sam and Bobby bust in and save Tamara, but it is too late for Isaac.
The Sins follow them back to Tamara’s house, using Isaac to get to her. They are able to exercise Envy and Gluttony. However, they still have for more sins to deal with. Lust goes after Dean, irony? I think not. Sam is left to deal with the other 3 and not very well I might add. This is when Ruby busts in to save the day. Pretty cool. It is nice to see a female character kick butt! They take care of exercising the demons from the people who were still alive and burning the others. Tamara leaves as Bobby reminds the boys to watch for omens.

What is next? Sam wants to head to Louisiana to get Dean out of the deal with the crossroad demon, but Dean admits that if he messes with the deal at all, Sam dies. And he would rather be dead than let Sam die. Can you feel the love?

This episode totally kicked butt! They did a great job; it was everything I was hoping for. I really liked the introduction of Ruby and look forward to seeing her in the future. I give the episode an A! A bit gory, but what do you expect from a show like this. See you next week for an eerie episode about possessed kids. YIKES!

"My Name Is Earl" Recap & Review - "The Gangs of Camden County"

My Name is Earl
“The Gangs of Camden County”


Original Air Date: October 4, 2007

Breanna P. - TwoCents Staff Writer

The episode begins with Earl clipping his toenails. Normally, a routine activity of personal hygiene, but in prison, Earl’s nail-clippers are attached to the guard’s belt. When the guard remembers that Earl is suppose to go see the Warden, he gets Earl to agree to say he “resisted a bit” meaning Earl gets pepper sprayed in the eyes to make it more believable. Earl arrives at the Warden’s office to discover than he wants to give Earl a certificate for a month off of his prison sentence in exchange for Earl solving the prison gang war between the Hispanic men and the African American men. Warden Henry has never been successful in any of the occupations he has had and feels as though Earl can help him more than he can help himself in this Warden-duty.

On the outside, Randy sits in the car he stole for three days waiting to be arrested. His desperation to be with Earl in jail at any cost makes his slap a police officer. An angry Joy bails Randy out and takes him to visit Earl. When Earl sees that Joy and Randy are slowly adjusting to living together, he gets an idea how to solve the gang problem and leaves the meeting. Randy sees Earl and the guard who pepper-sprayed him sharing a Snoball, making him even more jealous. Earl then meets with Jamal and Hector, the leaders of the gang who had spent a month together in solitary confinement. It is revealed to all that Hector and Jamal have fallen in love with one another and keep making their gangs fight to spend time together. When Hector makes Jamal feel scorned at the meeting, a real all-out war erupts between the gangs.

Earl promises to fix the gang problem and does so by solving the romance problem. He steals Jamal’s shirt and rubs it on Hector’s pillow. Other scenarios including popsicle-eating and accidental wet t-shirt-wearing follow, but Jamal refuses to go back to Hector. A life without Jamal is unbearable for Hector, so Hector runs to the electric fence and Jamal rushes to his aid. They secretly get back together and end the gang war. Hector and Jamal get to spend every other month together in solitary confinement, and Earl gets another month knocked off of his sentence as everyone in the yard gets along. At the end, Earl is surprised to see Randy as the new prison guard (he got a 55 percent on his guard test, which was “the highest they had seen all year”). Now Randy and Earl, too, can be together again.

I give the episode an A- for it’s hilariously awkward moments and cleverness. Craig T. Nelson as Henry the Warden was also a big bonus.

"Survivor:China" Recap & Review - "Week 3"

Survivor
"Week 3"


Originial Air Date: October 4, 2007

Josh - TwoCents Staff Writer

In this weeks episode of Survivor: China, we start off with another creepy moment with Jean-Robert. Apparently during the night, Jean-Robert insists on cuddling with this female tribe mates despite their obvious objections. In the morning, James catches a crab and the tribe argues over how they should split it and eat it. The mood around Fei Long seems to be a tense one, despite their constant wins so far, being underfed is starting to take its toll.

Over at Zhan Hu, Dave is still talking down to everyone and still over exerting himself. He defends himself by saying that a well organized camp leads to winning the challenges…apparently Dave’s already forgotten about last weeks immunity challenge where he was too burnt out to even finish the challenge.

The reward challenge is for comfort, but it’s not going to be easy, this challenge is basically the classic school yard game of ‘King of the Mountain’. The object is to be the last person standing. It looks very painful, and the censors have their work cut out for them due to the fact that everyone is playing in their underwear, except for Dave: he plays naked. Which could have worked, seeing as Zhan Hu wins their first reward. Jamie makes a smart move and says they should kidnap Leslie and they do. Which unknown to everyone else on the Zhan Hu tribe means that Leslie gets an immunity idol clue for Zhan Hu that she must give to one of them. Seeing as Jamie gave hers to Leslie, we can assume good Christian Leslie will do the same. Which she does.

Because of the win, the mood around Zhan Hu is a fun one without anyone arguing and Leslie talks about being misunderstood at Fei Long because there are no Christians and because they are cynical.

Over at Fei Long, the creepy Jean-Robert is talking with James in the water about wanting to vote out Courtney, but also tossing a variety of uncomfortable terms about Courtney and him wanting a piece of ass. Unknown to the two of them, Courtney and Todd are about 20 feet away in the woods listening to every word. Courtney’s disgusted as is Todd.

The immunity challenge involves using a machete and cutting through some bamboo and ropes to get several round puzzle pieces that will need to be assembled at the end. One by one Zhan Hu quickly hacks their way and collect all their puzzle pieces while Courtney is struggling to cut through just one. Eventually she gets through it and Fei Long quickly catches up and they really do seem to have a shot but Dave and Sherea cross the finish line first winning their first immunity.

Fei Long tries to figure out who they’re going to vote out, and it boils down Courtney, Jean-Robert and Leslie on the hot seat. Todd seems to be torn, on the one hand he wants to get rid of the big guys now so he doesn’t have to end up against them later but Leslie is weak, and he doesn’t trust what she was up to while at the Zhan Hu tribe. What Todd doesn’t mention is the fact that last week Leslie told him about the immunity clue and if she goes home, then Todd’s the only one on Fei Long with the knowledge of it.

At Tribal Council Jean-Robert calls out Courtney and Leslie for being weak, Courtney in turn, says that because she’s so small the bigger guys have made her sit out and put her in positions where she can’t do damage to the team, which seeing what happened to Courtney at the immunity challenge, might not be such a bad idea. Leslie then talks about what a great tribe Zhan Hu is and that they won the last two challenges because of their heart (aka Christians). I think this was the deciding factor for a lot of the tribe as the votes go 6 to 2 in favor of Leslie being the 3rd person voted out of Survivor: China. All the while all I can think of is why we have yet to hear Denise talk. What gives Jeff? No love for lunch ladies?

"The Office" Recap & Review - "Dunder-Mifflin" Infinity

The Office
“Dunder-Mifflin Infinity”


Original Air Date: October 4, 2007

Laura Ann - TwoCents Staff Writer

The premise of this was very direct. Ryan returns as the boss of everyone at Dunder-Mifflin Scranton & the whole office is confronted with blackberries & an entirely new software program to work by. Michael goes back to the mentality of “Business School” where he tells Ryan that “people will never go out of business” & decides to go & deliver gift baskets to win back their old clients. “Gift baskets are AMAZING, Phyllis. They are the essence of fanciness & classiness.” As far as the other employees go…Jim & Pam have now been made public much to Toby’s chagrin. Angela broke up with Dwight. Kevin & Andy appear to be friends now. Kelly pretended to be pregnant in order to get a date with Ryan. Oh…& Creed dyed his hair black using printer ink in order to look younger so that he wouldn’t lose his job. As the episode goes on Michael ends up paying attention to the GPS system in the car & drives it into a lake when it tells him to take a right turn.

I’ve heard a lot of mixed reviews on the episode so far. A lot of people thought it was too dark & hearkened back to season 1 too much. Yes, this episode definitely had a somber tone to it but I don’t think the fault was in the tone or the content..it was the length. Let’s face it. “The Office” does dark really well. It does fast paced & clever even better. The problem with this episode was the pacing & the length. I am all for hour long episodes of the show. But IF they are going to make hour long episodes & have them be successful then they need to make sure they’re like “The Job” or “A Benihana Christmas.” These episodes were brilliant & essentially the best of the best. This episode could have easily been cut in half & would have come across as funnier & probably less morose. I attribute this to the fact that NBC is promoting the hell out of the show it really has hit the big time now. TV Guide actually did a “that’s what she said” joke in one of its regular commercials tonight. Weird. Who knew that TV Guide even knew “The Office” existed?

There WERE however quite a few gems in tonight’s episode…
-Pam & Jim were a lot better this week than last week. There was a lot more realistic chemistry & not an overload of cuteness. The high-five at the end of the episode was adorable. Jim getting all ‘protective boyfriend’ over Pam when Ryan asked her out was fantastic.
-I love that Andy & Kevin are friends now. They are two peas in a pod. I love it.
-Kelly Kapoor? I love Kelly. I always have. One of the hardest times I laughed during the episode was when she told Ryan that she was pregnant & then it cut to her pursing her lips & shaking her head ‘no.’ AHHAhAahahahahah it was so great.
-Michael driving into the lake? Priceless.
-There’s also nothing I love more than “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” the Michael Scott version. Anytime Steve Carell acts mentally deranged it’s just too funny.
-The little catty exchange between Ryan & Jan was wonderfully written as well.
-I also thought that since Pam had her breakthrough & now that she & Jim are dating I would have no reason to cheer for my favorite tv heroine…but then tonight when Ryan basically GAVE her the job of designing the “Dunder Mifflin Infinity” logo I had a crazed applause & squeeeee moment!

Ultimately, I thought it was a good episode. I didn’t think it was right for an hour long episode…but it still had some great moments in it & a very necessary introduction to the new phase of Dunder-Mifflin & all the employees therein.

Also…who wants to bet $20 that Angela & Andy (Andela) are next??

The Office Conference Room - "Dunder-Mifflin Infinity"


Welcome back to The Conference Room where some of your favorite Office fan sites lend their TwoCents on this week's episode.

And of COURSE we want YOUR TwoCents! Click HERE to head over to TheTwoCents Branch Office to let us know what you thought about this episode!

Dunder-Mifflin Infinity
THERE'S A NEW BOSS IN TOWN - Much to the dismay of Michael (Golden Globe winner Steve Carell) and many of the employees, Ryan (B.J. Novak) returns to the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin to bring the company into the digital age. Angela (Angela Kinsey) is still upset about her cat.

[Updated: 10/8/07 - 8:20AM]

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KP
TheTwoCents.com
Favorite Moment: Pam's face as Jim say's "Yup" when asked if they're dating.
Favorite Quote: "I guess he can't get ANY girl." - Jim
Overall Episode Grade: B+

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Jenny
MTT
Favorite Moment: Toby talking Pam and Jim out of filing paperwork to declare their relationship.
Favorite Quote: "If you don't know that's awesome then you need awesome lessons." -Andy
Overall Episode Grade: A-

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Devin/Spamster
theofficechat.com
Favorite Moment: Dwight trying to give Angela a feral farm cat named "Garbage" and the very awesome Mose shoutout during that scene!
Favorite Quote: "Computers are about trying to murder you in a lake." -Michael
Overall Episode Grade: B+

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Melody
The Office Alliance
Favorite Moment: Jim and Pam's discussion of whether or not the magic is gone. Also, the return of the air five.
Favorite Quote: "Pam is the office mattress." -Angela
Overall Episode Grade: B

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theofficefan
Jello Stapler
Favorite Moment: Michael drives into the water because of his navigation unit.
Favorite Quote: Andy: You need lessons in awesome.
Overall Episode Grade: A+

Thursday, October 4, 2007

"Damages" Recap & Review - "Sort of Like a Family"

Damages
“Sort of Like a Family”


Original Air Date: October 2, 2007

Tom R - TwoCents Staff Writer

With the new season of House underway, it got me thinking…If you showed someone an episode of House and an episode of Damages, and you told them that director Bryan Singer (The Usual Suspects) was involved in only one, which one do you think they would pick? It’s kind of like the arguments about who would win in a fight between Superman and Batman…Who really is the devil incarnate…Keyser Soze or Patty Hewes?

(If you don’t know who Keyser Soze is, or you’ve never seen The Usual Suspects, stop reading this and rent it IMMEDIATELY!)

The showdown has been building between Patty and Frobisher, and the doors blow off in this episode, along with some other surprises as the threads continue to weave together.

Present:
Tom returns to Patty’s apartment to find that the cleanup was not as thorough as they thought. He finds traces of blood, and returns to tell this to Ellen. She wants to meet with Patty, and asks Tom to bail her out. She’ll take care of the rest. As we see Patty driving, the camera moves to a stain on her shoe. But did she get it at her apartment? Or did something else happen at the beach house?

Past:
Patty outlines the situation for Tom: As long as Gregory Malina is in play, Ellen is useful (and employable).

Frobisher worries about the Arlington revelation, but counters effectively by having the father of the crash victim explain about Frobisher’s generosity. Meanwhile, he is served with divorce papers by his wife, whom he confronts with his favorite golf club. Great to see that even a club can experience irony.

Against Patty’s wishes, Ellen pursues Moore’s whereabouts, and finds that he arranged for a conference to be held within shouting distance of Frobisher during the key weekend. Since it was not authorized, Ellen and Patty have shining moment #1 as a confrontation leads Ellen to declare, “I’m sick of your bullshit.” This, of course, yields an immediate dismissal from Patty.

The second shining moment is the deposition of Frobisher, which does not disappoint in the least. Danson and Close both do a remarkable job of making the initial meeting a casual affair, after which Frobisher declares, “She was setting me up.” The subsequent meeting is where all hell breaks loose, as Frobisher’s hands-off attitude regarding business comes to the surface. But the highlight comes as Patty draws a parallel between a company and a family, insinuating Frobisher’s failure at both. But does she know about the divorce? Or is Frobisher projecting it all?

Have you been watching? Have you read anything I’ve written? Of course she knows. Patty knows everything.


Or to put it another way…I believe in God. And the only thing that scares me is Patty Hewes.

Three episodes left. Damn. Even with the impending return of Nip/Tuck, I’m gonna miss this/

Damages airs Tuesdays at 10 PM on FX and repeats immediately and during the week.

"Private Practice" Recap & Review - "In Which Sam Receives an Unexpected Visitor"

Private Practice
"In Which Sam Receives an Unexpected Visitor"


Original Air Date: October 3, 2007

Laura Ann - TwoCents Staff Writer

Last night was the airing of another episode of "Private Practice." I cannot hate this show. The reason I cannot hate this show is because my absolute favorite character from "Grey's Anatomy" is the star of it. "Private Practice" has a great cast of actors but unfortunately it has a pretty pathetic cast of characters.

Kate Walsh's "Addison" is superb as always even though she is a brunette now & not a fiery redhead (booo!!) & Taye Diggs' character is so much fun that I wish Addison's character would get with him instead of Dr. McDowner with the dead wife & no emotions.

The reason that "Grey's Anatomy" was so apt at pulling at its viewers emotions is that it had an ensemble cast of characters of all ages & a rainbow of personalities to conflict with & love each other. "Private Practice" is lacking because none of the bored middle aged people who star in it have anything to offer except being boring middle aged people.

Last night's episode focused around the team working at the practice & dealing with Taye Diggs' having befriended a stripper with a mysterious rash much to the chagrin of his ex-wife Naomi. Unfortunately, these two characters are way too underdeveloped & slightly bland together in order for the audience to REALLY care about their relationship. It got lost among random open ended conversations with all of the other key characters in the show.

Towards the last half of it, Shonda Rimes' classic heart tugging plots came into full force when the story of two couples with newly born infants was put into play. One infant has a deadly disease & will not live past the age of 5. The other infant is totally healthy. The dying infant is found to have been switched in the nursery. The climax is when the two mothers have to switch the babies that they have loved as their own (not knowing any different) since they were born. I was in tears because both mothers were in tears because to THEM they were giving away their children to complete strangers when they were forced to switch back in the end. The biological mother of the dying infant divorced her husband because he was the one who switched the babies after having seen the sick one seizing in the nursery.

The very end of the episode dealt with one tiny flirtation between Addison & McDowner. She got a little sassy & he asked if she needed to be kissed again. She quickly unsassed herself & that was the end of that. All in all it's not a bad show. But I expect more of Shonda Rimes. If she's going to take a beloved character out of a hit show then make sure the show that she is transferred to is worthy of her.

"Dirty Sexy Money" Recap & Review - "The Lions"

Dirty Sexy Money
"The Lions"

Original Air Date: October 3, 2007

Shawn P - TwoCents Staff Writer

Previously on DSM, Tripp hired Nick to baby-sit the brood (Letitia, Patrick, Karen, Reverend Brian, Paris, and Andy Dick). Mrs. Nick walked around in a daze saying “for Ten Million Dollars, Karen can text you love poems until the cows come home.” Nick’s Papa died in a plane that looks too tiny to be a Cessna, which is why I thought it was a helicopter, and the ubiquitous Tranny Hooker cried and cried, as he/she is wont to do. Nick is pretty sure one of them murdered his dad, and he’s set on blood atonement. That was either the recap of the Pilot or the start of one seriously awesome country song.

What a difference a week makes, because the first thing after this week's episode, we’re retiring three nicknames from last week. “Mrs. Nick” is now “Lisa.” I know this because every time someone addresses her in this episode, they start or end the sentence with “Lisa.” Was that so hard ABC? See, if you drill the names into our heads 40 times in 15 minutes, we’ll use them. “Nick’s Papa” is repeated referred to as “Dutch,” which now that I hear it in this episode, I guess I knew this last week also. I just refused to use it because there’s only one “Dutch” and that, good sir, is Mr. Ed O’Neill. So Nick’s Papa is now “Pseudo-Dutch.” And Paris is Jules, but here she’ll be “Jewels” because that’s what I typed the first time, and it’s more appropriate, really.

The biggest development of the week: Andy Dick must have left the show, because he was nowhere to be found this episode. Oh no. The chameleon that plays “Jeremy” tones it down seven or twenty-three notches in this episode, as his storyline with Jewels and Jewels’ improbably attractive frienemy Natalie (Tamara Feldman) goes all screwball comedy on us. So this week, the role of Andy Dick will be performed by Andy Bing, who is a hybrid mash-up of Chandler Bing and Andrew McCarthy (he’s the comic foil, but he’s also the spoiled rich kid). Let me just state, either the show runners gave wildly varying direction on how to play the Jeremy role after the pilot, or this Seth Gabel kid is a modern-day Lon Cheney, only he brings all thousand faces to the same role.

And yes, frienemy is too a valid portmanteau.

Now that we’ve got the players down, this week the action centers on a taking a family photo. It’s for a magazine, or a wanted poster, or Christmas card – I’ll have to rewind and tell you later – whatever the end-state medium, the photo shoot is “supposed to launch Patty’s Senate campaign.” I thought they were generally launched with press conferences and campaign petition filings, which shows what I know.

You’d think they’d just jet over to Sear’s or Macy’s and knock this out – the photos aren’t so bad in those kinds of places, you know – but because it’s the Darling family, it can never be that simple. They need lions in the picture. And Sear’s has a strict no lion policy.

Tripp says the photo shoot will re-brand the family as “fresh” and “hip.” Are “lions” fresh and “hip”? Penguins are over? No one told me that. Let me just say that Nick’s assignment – “setting the tone, making sure people get from A to B” – that’s not really lawyer work, is it? He’s the nanny, which should have been the title of this show (think Fran Drescher’d mind?), and might as well be if they keep doing these seismic tonal shifts.

Nick, who can’t cook a Pop-Tart, has a new ring tone for Karen – Wagner’s “Bridal March.” He also goes all Encyclopedia Brown and gets caught stealing Tripp’s journal (to figure out if he new about Tish/Pseudo-Dutch) before getting busted by the maid who shakes him down for $500 and says Pseudo-Dutch put her kids through college… and med school. Ha. Nick almost ruins the shoot (it was for a magazine) by screaming at Tripp, “J’accuse!” Cats exit various bags, but we’re no closer to a murderer.

Nameless Hired Hand mentions to Tripp that he took Tish to Forest Lawn Cemetery, which is in Burbank/Glendale last time I checked. Pseudo-Dutch was buried in Los Angeles? Are we filming this on one of the studio lots and someone flubbed a line? Because Forest Lawn is right across the street from the Warner Bros studio. I imagine the writers room discussion went like:

“Hey, we need a name for the cemetery.”

“Just call it Forest Lawn, like the one here by Griffith Park.”

“You think maybe it’s a chain, like McDonald’s? “

“Gosh, every city probably has a Forest Lawn.”

“Buffalo does.”

“That’s in New York. Close enough!”

In subplots, Jewels, now out and about in the real world, adopts a dog, moves into a hotel, misses the photo shoot (don’t worry, Daisy hires a stand-in), and sends her twin brother Andy Bing to investigate who’s staying in the Penthouse Suite. It’s Natalie, who stole Jewels’ bangs and perfume, so now they’re mortal enemies. Natalie walks around in lingerie, stands on tables to say “I want you”, and works phrases like “crap lizard” in regular conversation. I’m so hoping this is a recurring role.

Reverend Brian isn’t going to win any Father of the Year prizes, professional or laic, after telling everyone his son is really Gustav, whose parents died in a bullet train accident. I’m also totally wondering what religion he’s supposed to be, because he mentioned a wife and daughters, but he’s dressed like a Roman Catholic. Maybe he’s the same denomination as the guy who hangs around Battery Park and ministers on behalf of the Church of Stop Shopping.

We find out Norman Exley was blackmailing Reverend Brian over Gustav, so he’s no longer a prime suspect in the Pseudo-Dutch murder. Exley, who sounds like Frobisher’s lawyer but looks like a down on his luck Sawyer (which is saying something as Sawyer’s marooned on an island and I’m calling Norman the one down on his luck) mentions that Tripp might have called the hit over the Tish affair…

Daisy gets stuck trying to crack the lock to last week’s water-tight suitcase. Pardon me for asking, but why would Daisy be able to figure out the combo to the locked suitcase? Aren’t there blunt force methods of opening locked suitcases? It’s not a vault with three feet of concrete surrounding it. You could drill the lock, no? Keep Daisy focused on what she’s good at: ring tones.

Apparently, the whole family knows about Patrick and his Tranny Hooker, and Tripp and Nick were the only two who didn’t know about Tish and Pseudo-Dutch.

Patty doesn’t want to be Senator, but eventually relents and announces his bid for Senator. “Of this great state. The Empire State. New York State.” The way he said it I thought he was running in three elections.

Tripp guesses the combo to the locked suitcase (it’s Tish’s birthday), and inside Nick finds a dossier on our new number one suspect: Carmen San Diego!

Actually, it’s Blair Underwood, who hasn’t aged since LA Law, so he’s obviously evil.

Next week is all about a sex tape, with the central mystery being – which Darling has one? Because if the show was about which Darling doesn’t, they wouldn’t be able to fill the hour. See you in a week, DSM!

Laughing With Letterman

UPCOMING GUESTS ON THE "LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN"
ON THE CBS TELEVISION NETWORK

Monday through Friday, 11:35 PM-12:37 AM, ET/PT

(*Denotes changes and/or additions to previous schedule)

*Thursday, Oct. 4 Actress Nicolette Sheridan; former White House Press Secretary Tony Snow; musical guest Rihanna

Friday, Oct. 5 Comedian Bob Newhart; actress Angela Kinsey; musical guests Iron and Wine

Monday, Oct. 8 Actor George Clooney; musical guest Kid Rock

Tuesday, Oct. 9 Singer/actress Jennifer Lopez; author/former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan

Wednesday, Oct. 10 Talk show host/comedian Stephen Colbert; actress Eva Mendes; musical guests Queens of the Stone Age

*Thursday, Oct. 11 Actress Anne Heche; musical guest Mariza

*Friday, Oct. 12 Actress Halle Berry; actor Bill Hader; musical guests Spring Snake Symphony

*Monday, Oct. 15 Actor Jake Gyllenhaal; musical guest 50 Cent

*Tuesday, Oct. 16 Fitness guru Richard Simmons; actor Casey Affleck

*Wednesday, Oct. 17 Actress Rebecca Romijn; comedian Jimmie J.J. Walker; musical guest LeAnn Rimes

*Thursday, Oct. 18 Actor Steve Carell; musical guest Band of Horses

*Friday, Oct. 19 Actress Amanda Peet; comedian Jeff Caldwell

Chillin With Carson

LISTINGS FOR "LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY"

(Mondays-Fridays, 1:35 a.m.-2:05 a.m. ET/PT, Immediately following "Late Night with Conan O'Brien")

Friday, October 5 — Michael Vartan and musical guest Pat Monahan

Monday, October 8 — Kelly Slater and Rob Machado with musical guest Mat Kearny

Tuesday, October 9 — Brian Welch and musical guest Ryan Shaw

Wednesday, October 10 — Leslie Bibb and musical guest Hurricane Chris

Thursday, October 11 — TBD and musical guest Tig Notaro

Friday, October 12 — Jason Schwartzman and musical guest Morrissey

Monday, October 15 — TBD

NOTE: Listings are subject to change.

A New "Fifth Grader" Class

After this summer’s nationwide search, a new class of stellar students will assemble for the first time as classes resume on the second season of the hit game show ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5th GRADER? beginning Thursday, Oct. 4 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT). As previously announced, an all-new bonus episode with the new class will air Friday, Oct. 5 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT).

Now that former classmates Alana, Marki, Jacob, Kyle and Spencer have graduated to middle school, the bell rings for a new batch of 5th graders. The star scholars include:

• Mackenzie, an 11-year-old from San Diego, CA, once won a contest for reading 30 books. She loves to sing and pretend she is a contestant on SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE. When she grows up she wants to be a pop singer, actress or fashion designer.

• Olivia, 10, lives in Chicago, IL. Her favorite subject is writing and she is a Greek mythology enthusiast. As her idol is Eleanor Roosevelt, Olivia would love to be able to go back in time to visit the 1950s. Olivia hopes to visit France one day and wants to be a neurologist when she grows up.

• Sierra, a 9-year-old Southern California native, is an honor student who likes to socialize and read the dictionary in her free time. This avid pizza lover wants to visit Tokyo one day and aspires to be a medical examiner. Her idols include Arnold Schwarzenegger and Wonder Woman.

• Cody, 10, a Southern California native and an identical twin, loves math and would dye his hair yellow if he could. When he is not break-dancing, Cody likes collecting rocks and coins. Cody would like to be a writer or professional soccer player.

• Nathan, a 9-year-old Colorado native, loves math, reading and playing the piano. Because Nathan thinks Albert Einstein is the smartest person of all time, it is no surprise he wants to be an inventor when he grows up. When he's not playing competitive sports, Nathan's reading the latest "Harry Potter" book or watching his favorite team, the New York Yankees.

In addition to a new set of pupils, the second season of this atypical game show, hosted by comedian Jeff Foxworthy, will also feature celebrity contestants Regis Philbin (“Live with Regis and Kelly”), on-air personality Billy Bush (“Access Hollywood”), AMERICAN IDOL finalists Clay Aiken and Kellie Pickler, skateboarding icon Tony Hawk, and Miss America Lauren Nelson testing their knowledge for charity.

American Gladiators is Back ... BROTHER!!

Wrestling legend and television icon Hulk Hogan (“Hogan Knows Best”) will flex his hosting muscle for NBC’s latest midseason primetime offering, the return of the competition series “American Gladiators.”

The announcement was made today by Craig Plestis, Executive Vice President, Alternative Programming, Development and Specials, NBC Entertainment.

“Hulk Hogan is an American icon," said Plestis. "For over twenty years he has been a symbol of strength and toughness in all facets of entertainment. His electrifying personality will no doubt inspire Herculean efforts from our everyday challengers. There is no one more qualified to host this program.”

“Hulk Hogan is going to rock the American viewing public as the host of ‘American

Gladiators,’” said “American Gladiators” executive producer and Reveille Managing Director Howard T. Owens. “This is the ultimate television vehicle for the ultimate action television star, The Hulk!”

“Gladiator-mania is gonna be running wild, brother,” said Hogan.

A former WWE Champion many times over, Hogan is one of the most well known wrestlers of all-time. Throughout the course of his extraordinary career, Hogan has accomplished things no other wrestler has. He is the only wrestler ever to be featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated, he has headlined 10 WrestleManias and he’s starred in numerous major motion pictures. Most recently Hogan, along with his family, opened their home to the American public starring in the reality show “Hogan Knows Best” which documents their every day life. In 2005, Hogan’s illustrious career earned him an induction into the World Wrestling Entertainment Hall of fame by long time friend Sylvester Stallone.

This show marks the first time Hogan has hosted a competition series.

“American Gladiators,” the iconic event/competition show, returns with a fresh modern reinvention for the 21st century. Using splashy twists including special effects, water skills and the latest technology, the classic games will be upgraded with even higher thrills, impact, energy and spectacle.

Celebrating the everyday, true American heroes -- weekend warriors who excel and take pride in their physical fitness -- contestants will go up against the show’s gladiators -- charismatic and eclectic warriors -- in the ultimate David & Goliath battle. As in MGM's traditional "American Gladiators" franchise, everyday amateur athletes compete against action stars and stunt professionals in contests of physical strength and endurance. The series will include such classic events as The Joust, The Wall, Hang Tough and the Eliminator.

The eight new gladiators (four men and four women) are action-adventure stars ready to take down the everyday challengers with hard knocks and explosive attitudes. Each challenger will also have a unique story to tell -- and a compelling reason why they need to win. These unsung heroes combine brawn and heart in their effort to be worthy competitors, which the audience can cheer for against the villainous gladiators.

The new series will be produced by MGM Television (the original producers of the show) and Reveille (NBC’s “The Office” and “The Biggest Loser,” “Nashville Star,” “Ugly Betty”). Reveille's Mark Koops, Howard T. Owens and David Hurwitz (“Fear Factor”) are the executive producers.

"Bionic Woman" Recap & Review - "Paradise Lost"

Bionic Woman
"Paradise Lost"


Original Air Date: October 3, 2007

Josh - TwoCents Staff Writer

We begin with the graveside funeral of Jamie’s boyfriend who, as you may remember from episode 1, was sniped by Sarah-I’m-the-original-bionic-woman-Corvis. Jonas wastes no time in trying to bring in Jamie, and for an organization that’s so secretive, he has no qualms about stopping her in front of her curious sister. Just like in episode one, she tells him she’s going back to her life.

After walking around her late boyfriend's apartment she finds a mysteriously loose floorboard and underneath it, a thick binder that’s all about her…and begins two years before she even met her boyfriend. So how does our bionic woman handle this information? She gets her drink on and tries to get freaky with a “Mr. Right Now” in a dirty pub bathroom. But she gets a little too freak nasty and breaks his rib, which is probably better because Jonas enters shortly after and that could have been really awkward. Jonas gives her a “you can help save the world” speech while she tries not to vomit.

Jamie likes the idea of saving the world, which is demonstrated to us by her saving a suicidal woman and looking forlorn at the evening news. She has a buzzing in her bionic ear she can’t get rid of and once she pays Jonas a visit at HQ all it takes is a slap upside her head to get the buzzing to stop. Jamie meets her supervisor (Isaiah Washington) and he sends her to train with Jae, and we’re treated to a cliché training montage in a warehouse.

Later Jae gets a note from Sarah Corvis to meet at a hotel. The two of them get hot and heavy soon after, despite the fact that the last time they saw each other he was putting several bullets into her chest. Sarah says that she thought she had somehow been hacked and she forgives him, he did what he had to do.

The ever eager Jamie jumps into her first (self appointed, I might add) assignment by tagging along with Ruth to a small town where everyone is dead in what appears to be biological warfare. We soon find out it was a dry run for a much, much larger biological attack, using something called DMC-30, on the US. My question is, if everyone dropped dead in this town, why are the cars deserted and bikes on the ground with no bodies? A group of bad guys posing as the army show up and there’s a show down with Jamie and one of the guys, and yes, she kicks his ass.

Jamie’s fist assignment is a success. She saved the world and got to go back to her pot smoking sister in time for dinner. It’s all in a day's work for Jamie but larger questions remain, like why would the company create this DMC-30 in the first place and how did these guys in fatigues get a hold of it? Why was there a binder of information long before Jamie got into that car accident? Who hacked Sarah Corvis? Where’s Anthony Anthros? I guess we’ll just have to tune in next week, and I’ll be tuning in week after week as long as we get more of the bad ass Sarah Corvis instead of the forgiving romantic we saw in this episode.