The UnitWhiplash
Original Air Date: April 12, 2009
Brittany Wells – Associate Staff Writer
brittanyw@thetwocentscorp.com
Happy Easter. Have some violence and angst with your ham.
Sam is not only trying to take over the Mack/sniper rifle OTP, he’s still trying to hit on Bridget. Bob tells him to back off. He still follows her home anyway. This really reads like a scene out of a Lifetime movie. Complete with really bad attempted rape that gets broken up at the last second.
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[photo: CBS]
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Happy Easter. Have some violence and angst with your ham.
ReplyDeleteSam is not only trying to take over the Mack/sniper rifle OTP, he’s still trying to hit on Bridget. Bob tells him to back off. He still follows her home anyway. This really reads like a scene out of a Lifetime movie. Complete with really bad attempted rape that gets broken up at the last second.
Then we go to the Cave, where Tom is in the middle of a briefing when one really freaked out Bridget turns up late with a massive wound on her face, and there is no Sam. I love how the Colonel has these glasses that make him look like he’s going to give us all a science lecture. If he were my science teacher he probably would have forgiven me for almost setting the lab on fire in tenth grade chemistry. But neither he nor anyone else believes Bridget’s fake story, so she spills to the team, who all get rightfully pissed. But when Jonas and Bob turn up, Sam and his gear are gone. Jonas goes on the warpath.
Tom wants to know what the hell is going on with his people, as any superior officer would. I would seriously pay money to see Robert Patrick go to town on this guy. Actually, I’d pay to see him get to go to town on anyone, but if you’ve been reading my recaps for any length of time you know that.
Meanwhile, Mack and Tiffy are in…Wyoming. Apparently, his great-aunt left them a house. Mack is not Bob Vila. He is not impressed. He’s also hanging out in church, still screwed up in the head for all the weird things he’s been through, to the point where he’s helping some random woman that he met who kidnapped a baby. Even Max Martini seems to be slightly sleepwalking through this episode, aside from the “what the hell am I doing?” look that could belong to both him and his character.
Jonas meets Sam’s ex-girlfriend, who confirms that the guy is a whack job, as they didn’t part as friends either. He then goes and gets a Big Freaking Gun to wait and shoot the new guy with. One would assume this will be a very truncated episode. But of course, as in all dramatic shows, the simple, plausible thing is rarely what happens. Instead, Jonas gives Sam time to take a hostage and fire a grenade. After that I’d just go and shoot the guy, but he gives him the benefit of the doubt (why exactly?), thus allowing Sam to make a getaway. Thus continues the direct-to-TV movie vibe where they yell at each other a lot and nothing happens.
At least, until Tom shows up with Bob. Yay! Tom gets to do stuff. Between this and last week maybe the writers are getting the hint that Robert Patrick can do more than exposition. Speaking of, yay it’s Kayla – running things at the TOC again.
Sam’s still nuts, and even referencing how this sounds like a bad movie. He calls his ex for some random reason. (Why does Sam’s ex-girlfriend still have his number and still take his calls if she thinks he’s nuts?) He’s negotiating with Jonas, apparently over whether or not he gets to blow his own head off. I’d just let him blow his head off. Tom then decides he’s had enough of this and tells Jonas to hurry the heck up already.
Meanwhile, I think Mack is having a religious moment. I have no idea. The B story stopped making sense to me about halfway through the episode. Anyway, it ends with the crazy woman being arrested and Mack and Tiffy finding said missing baby outside the church.
Unfortunately, Sam does not have the guts to blow his own head off. Damn. He just gets arrested and gets Tom’s unimpressed face. Then he manages to escape the cops and steal their car. Yet the real kicker is the off-screen stuff: he’s back on the show with the next new episode! One can only hope, in the name of all that’s holy, it’s in a body bag or something. And thus, the horribly muddled, poorly executed New Guy plot continues.
And by the way? We’re preempted again next week. With only three new episodes to go. Happy Easter, everyone!