Monday, November 10, 2008

True Blood - Recap & Review - I Don't Wanna Know

True Blood
“I Don’t Wanna Know”

Original Air Date: Nov 9, 2008

Andi - TwoCents Reviewer

Welcome to THUNDERDOME! Break a deal, spin the wheel! Someone over at HBO has been watching much too much Mad Max (I’m looking at you Mr. Ball) because whoever built the location for the tribunal had a case of Max Envy. Just sayin’. But we’re not actually there yet. So let’s take it from the top.

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[photo: HBO]


  1. True Blood
    “I Don’t Wanna Know”

    Original Air Date: Nov 9, 2008

    Andi - TwoCents Reviewer

    Welcome to THUNDERDOME! Break a deal, spin the wheel! Someone over at HBO has been watching much too much Mad Max (I’m looking at you Mr. Ball) because whoever built the location for the tribunal had a case of Max Envy. Just sayin’. But we’re not actually there yet. So let’s take it from the top.

    Sookie’s screaming and Sam’s floundering around naked, having apparently forgotten that when he goes to sleep as a dog, he wakes up as a person – a naked person - and Sookie’s having a heart attack. Can’t say I blame her. I can, however, blame her for her irrational reaction to learning his secret. She yells at him about breaches of trust and how dare he kiss her without full disclosure. Okay, I know Sookie starts out as something of a prude, but come on. This is just irrational, given that she’s a telepath and her lover is a vampire. Get down off your High Moral Horse, Miss Priss. Also, what happened to her big Thou Shalt Not Judge attitude from earlier in the season? Can I get some character consistency on aisle two, please?

    While Sookie and Sam are having their little Come To Jesus meeting, Tara is having a similar meeting of her own. Miss Jeanette and Tara are somewhere in the wilderness for this $799.99 exorcism and I can’t help but think that for that amount of money they could have at least had it indoors somewhere, even in the Short Bus of Doom and Witchcraft, which is conspicuously missing. Anyway, Miss Witchdoctor proceeds to wax on and on about demons infecting you through microwaves and cell phones and I smell a rat. Miss Jeanette, I think you might be a liar. But no one is listening to me and she goes on to spit on Tara and feed her some sort of “potion,” which leads to some writhing and some cussing and ultimately culminates in the stabbing of an imaginary twelve-year-old Tara. Talk about dealing with your inner child. Sheesh.

    Cut on over to the Stupids where Amy is drawing more of Eddie the Kidnapped Vampire’s blood. She blathers on about how her carbon footprint is miniscule and that makes her better. If I could add in emoticons here, you’d get the eye roll one because she’s just so out of touch. Amy and Eddie the Kidnapped Vampire do some talking and she finds the empty bottles of True Blood that Jason sneaked down to the poor man (why didn’t he throw them away?) and gets all kinds of annoyed that Jason was feeding him. Okay, I get it, she’s pro-life and anti-pesticide and pro prop 8 and save the whales, but her hatred of vampires based solely on their un-dead status doesn’t really fly for me. Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t they still fit into the food chain and the ecosystem? And prior to coming out of the coffin, wouldn’t you say they had just about no carbon footprint?

    But on a good note, Eddie the Kidnapped Vampire isn’t so dumb. He feeds her lines about how Jason loves her and how Jason’s not as evolved as she is. It’s a valiant effort to gain her trust – he’s playing them against each other, clever man. Too bad he’s operating on the false assumption that these two have ever heard of logic before.

    Cut to the bathroom where we have to fill our Naked Jason Quota, as there is no sex in this episode. Amy’s there and however much I might dislike her, she really isn’t dumb. She tries to play to Jason’s emotions and tells him that they could be nicer to poor Eddie and then he might get Stockholm syndrome and grow to care about them and be like their pet. I kid you not; this is the actual conversation. I feel dumber for having watched this scene.

    Back over at Tara’s, Lettie Mae is asleep on the couch and I actually cheered for just a moment, thinking that she passed out drunk, but no such luck. Tara wakes her mama and explains about the $799.99 exorcism, which she believes rid her of her demon. They exchange Hallmark cards and go out for crawfish in celebration. Okay, maybe I just added that first part, but it sure was a Hallmark moment.

    Cut to Merlotte’s where everyone in town is setting up for the Wedding Party of Doom and Attempted Murder. Oops, getting ahead of myself. Anyway, Sookie continues to shun Sam because she’s suddenly a bigot. Or something. Arlene does what she does best and gripes about the decorations. Terry turns on the awesome and explains about debutant balls and old timey families. “All families are old, Sam, some just keep better record.” I love him for this little bit of wisdom. Also, it’s a nice segue into….

    Flashback! Sixteen-year-old Sam is having what is possibly a seizure and transforms into a beagle, which understandable freaks the hell out of his adoptive parents.

    Back from our flashback, Sam continues to decorate.

    Over at Lafayette’s (this show should really employ more creative cutting techniques) Mr. Senator shows up for some V, but Lafayette is sold out, so they partake in some nice wholesome prostitution instead.

    And in my favorite scene this week, Tara stops at a drugstore to get her mother some Pepto and what does she find? Miss Witchdoctor stocking shelves! Ah, vindication, it feels so good. Tara learns that the secret behind her exorcism was actually a little bit of peyote and storms off in a way only Tara can. She does not, however, tell her mother that Miss Witchdoctor is a hoax, but it’s only a matter of time.

    Cut to the Wedding Party of Doom and Attempted Murder, so we can see that Sookie’s pouting and missing Bill, which is only there to transition us to….

    THUNDERDOME! Sigh. Am I the only one who is sick and tired of the vampires as rebels in parking lots thing? Charlaine Harris’ vampires rent out entire hotels for their legal dealings and conventions. Why are the same vampires standing around in a junkyard? And for God’s sake, why is the magistrate sitting in a junked out El Camino? But I digress. This scene is pretty annoying so I’m going to just give you details. Bill screwed up, the magistrate gets one awesome line (“Back your shit down!”) and for some inexplicable reason is sporting a Malfoy Pimp Cane, Eric does his Empire State Building impersonation (goodness, but he’s tall) and Pam is awesome in her khaki-clad silence. There is some discussion and some bargaining and some Sookie is awesome-ing. But ultimately it is decided that Bill owes the vampires a life and he must turn someone. Oh, look! There’s a conveniently placed religious “teenager” (the actress looks 25 though) in the trunk of this car! What good fortune!

    Meanwhile, Lafayette catches on that Eddie is missing and puts two and two together and comes up with not four, but Jason Stackhouse, which is, of course, the right answer. He storms over to the party, shoves Jason about and gets the second best line tonight, “You think life is just a game that you gonna always win no matter how many dead folk are piling up around you.” Jason, having somehow sprouted a brainstem, finally gets how big of a deal it is that he has poor Eddie the Kidnapped Vampire in his basement and goes home to free him. But Amy, having known the score all along, stakes Poor Eddie the Dead Kidnapped Vampire before Jason can get him untied. RIP Eddie.

    The party rages on though, and Sam calls Sookie out on her behavior, saying that if this is her reaction to what he really is, then he was right not to tell her. And he’s so very, very right. But this puts Sookie in a bitchy mood, naturally, so she pouts and offers to help with the bartending by going to the back to get more ice. Why are the lights all off? Oh, I know! So she can’t see that Velociraptor that’s about to jump up and attack her. Sookie scrambles around on the floor in a scene stolen right out of Jurassic Park, but manages to get away from the man she looks directly at, but somehow doesn’t see, only to run smack into Sam by the front door. And now Sam’s her best friend in all the world, as she clutches him and freaks out.

    Cut to Tara, woefully and drunkenly driving down the road, fresh from fighting with Sam and being generally miserable in a dress that looks like a Salvation Army reject. She’s swigging from a bottle and swerving around the road and runs right into…Michelle Forbes! Hi, Michelle! Luckily, she misses Michelle, who is accompanied by her trusty razorback hog, and slams into a fence instead.

    So, to sum up, we have now met the Maenad and her stinky pet, Bill’s a tortured soul (Hah! Have the writers read the series?), Sookie’s a brat, Tara’s got demons of the emotional kind, Amy’s a psycho, Jason’s an idiot with a conscience, Lafayette ain’t going down for anyone, and puberty was hard on Sam.

    What do you guys think? How do you feel about the way things are progressing? Are you annoyed by the characters or do you still like them? Your two cents, give ‘em to me!

  2. I agree with all you have said :(

    I was fairly disappointed with episode 10, it was incredibly un-fulfilling and felt very...short. Oh, and killing Eddie was upsetting, even though I knew he was going to die. I liked him a lot.

    Lafayette is by far my favorite at this point. Sookie is last. I want more Eric/Pam since Pam and Eric were my favorites in the book up until Quinn came along... he won by tiger.

    I will still watch though, since I'm interested in seeing where they take the TV versions of the characters. I have a feeling I will be very disappointed in everything they omit.

  3. First of all, the exorcism was 799.95 ;D

    Secondly, you didn't mention the part where wee!Sam came home to an empty house!

    Finally, I just can't hate Sookie. She's so perty.

  4. I'm really glad I read this before I watched the ep. Ugh, totally would have been a waste of my time. I'm starting to get really sick of Sookie. And Bill, too. I've never liked him and she's past the point of irritating as hell. I like Anna Paquin, too, so it sucks even more.

    *deletes ep from DVR*

  5. EbonyTigress - It did feel short didn't it? Huh. I don't how they're managing to make Sookie so unlikable when her original character is so very likable. They've gone way off the reservation with that one/ You like Quinn, huh? I can't say I'm a Quinn fan, but at this point, I'd be so happy to see him.

    Anonymous 1 - DARN IT! Thanks for pointing out my pricing error. It's...umm...taxes? :p

    Anonymous2 - Oh, I didn't mean to make you delete it. :( There were certainly some good parts to it.



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