American Dad"The 42 Year Old Virgin"
Original Airdate 11-18-07
Jeff L - TwoCents Staff Writer
Stan is about to shoot a bad guy when the guy pulls a gun on him. There’s a flash. When the smoke clears we see Stan and his boss and a bunch of CSI guys standing over the guy’s dead body. Stan and Mr. Bullock start singing Another One Bites the Dust and laughing. Bullock congratulates Stan on his 14th kill and lets him where everyone will eat lunch tomorrow.
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American Dad
ReplyDelete"The 42 Year Old Virgin"
Original Airdate 11-18-07
Jeff L - TwoCents Staff Writer
Stan is about to shoot a bad guy when the guy pulls a gun on him. There’s a flash. When the smoke clears we see Stan and his boss and a bunch of CSI guys standing over the guy’s dead body. Stan and Mr. Bullock start singing Another One Bites the Dust and laughing. Bullock congratulates Stan on his 14th kill and lets him where everyone will eat lunch tomorrow.
Steve and his buddies are all into Stan’s story about killing a guy and Hayley is mad because everyone is idolizing her father the murderer. Francine says they boys so leave their father alone so she can get romantic, but Stan’s got plans to play poker with some guys from work. Roger is coming along and trying out his new character Chilly.
Bad Larry, Ray, Chilly and Stan are playing poker and the guys all want to hear the details about Stan’s kill that morning. Stan doesn’t remember the details. Bad Larry and Ray vividly remember all the details of their kills and they start to talk about their “first time.” Stan doesn’t remember his first time. He tries to make up a story about shooting a guy from Canada that the guys wouldn’t know. They want to know where he shot him and Stan just says in the body. Where in the body? In the front, the front of the body. He acts suspicious and the guys don’t think he’s ever killed anyone. Stan tries to get the guys to notice that Chilly is really an alien to take the head off himself, but nobody cares since it’s huge news that big, macho Stan is a virgin.
Roger chases Stan down and he admits that he’s never killed anyone. 20 years ago he cornered a spy in the subway and was about to shoot him but it’s very awkward and the spy tells Stan that he can tell it’s his first time and that he’ll never be any good. Stan can’t pull the trigger, but an armed robber can. He shoots the guy and steals his wallet and watch and Stan took credit for the kill. Turns out the other 13 people Stan “killed” all died of other things, like getting hit by a bus or choking to death or falling into a volcano. The guy from that morning was even killed by the same armed robber from 20 years ago, who’s older and balding now, but he remembers Stan as “that Virgin from the subway.”
Back home, Steve feels like a jerk for idolizing his father who’s never killed anyone. Hayley is proud of her father and that’s just terrible for Stan.
At the Cloak and Stagger, Roger gossiped to all the guys about Stan needing to experience his first kill. The guys agree to take him out to the End of the Road bar and maybe Stan will get lucky. There are plenty of likely candidates, but Stan makes excuses about why he can’t kill any of them.
Back home, Stan answers the door and it’s a sex offender. He’s going door to door telling everyone about moving into the neighborhood. The sex offender, Randy, sees Steve and wants to come in, but Steve slams the door in his face. Francine was waiting in the bedroom for Stan to come home from his first kill, but when she finds out he didn’t kill anyone she makes a bunch of excuses and goes to bed early.
The guys take Stan to the home of a cult leader, who put an ad on Craig’s List for someone to come and poison all of them. Even with the cult leader and everyone begging for it, Stan can’t kill anyone.
The next day, Stan is hanging out with Hayley and the Steve and his buddies tell Stan they are going to try out for gymnastics. Roger slaps Stan and demands that he find “the one.” Just then, Randy the sex offender drives by with his homemade ice cream and naps truck. He picks up Steve and all his buddies and drives off with them while Stan is having a moment. Roger points out that Steve just took off with the pedophile ice cream guy and Stan is shocked because Steve had ice cream at lunch.
Stan tracks Randy down at the Wet, Young and Wild Waterpark where he used to work. Randy has got a secret room in the back of the waterslide where’s he’s making the boys play popcorn while he spays them with spray butter. He’s about to pretend to be the salt and make the boys wrestle him when Stan shows up. Randy tells Stan that if he gets arrested he’ll just be back on the street later that night, since his mom is rich and he has a really good lawyer. Stan pulls his gun and fires but when the smoke clears this time we see the police loading Randy into the back of their squad car. Turns out Stan’s shot his Bad Larry, his CIA buddy and Bad Larry dies while they’re loading him into the ambulance. He’s happy to have been Stan’s first and before he dies he vows to become “more powerful than you could possibly imagine.” Nobody knows what he’s talking about but Roger points out “Who cares? He’s dead.”