ChuckChuck vs. Tom Sawyer
Original Air Date: Oct 27, 2008
Jeff L - TwoCents Staff Writer
JeffL@thetwocentscorp.com
It’s about time Jeff Barnes the perpetually drunk (stoned?) Nerd Herder got his own Jeff-centric episode. We start out back in 1983, when Jeff was crowned All Valley Missile Command champion. He had a hundred bucks in quarters, a year’s supply of Slim Jims, two sexy bikini models and so many tasty options ahead he was unsure what great feat he’d next accomplish. Dissolve to 25 years later and the only tasty options Jeff’s has before him these days all come from the Buy More snack machine.
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[photo: Adam Taylor/NBC]
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It’s about time Jeff Barnes the perpetually drunk (stoned?) Nerd Herder got his own Jeff-centric episode. We start out back in 1983, when Jeff was crowned All Valley Missile Command champion. He had a hundred bucks in quarters, a year’s supply of Slim Jims, two sexy bikini models and so many tasty options ahead he was unsure what great feat he’d next accomplish. Dissolve to 25 years later and the only tasty options Jeff’s has before him these days all come from the Buy More snack machine.
ReplyDeleteIf you haven’t seen King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, put it in your queue. It makes a great primer for this episode. Also, if you were an Arrested Development fan, then you’re in for some pleasant news – keep reading.
At the Buy More, we meet efficiency expert Emmett Milbarge (Tony Hale/Arrested Development), who we’ll just call Buster – perhaps because he spends most of tonight’s episode busting all inefficiency in and around the Buy More. Big Mike has brought him in since the shake up in upper management (Lester resigned his assistant manager post).
Buster interviews the entire store and seemingly all roads lead to Chuck, who is uncharacteristically late. Chuck finally does show up and when Buster tries to introduce himself and pin Chuck down for his interview, Chuck has an unfortunately timed flash on a customer/global terrorist who’s poking around the Buy More with a vintage 1983 picture of Jeff.
Chuck runs over to the Orange Orange and Casey and Sarah don’t have any idea why a terrorist would be looking for Jeff. They task Chuck with the mission to befriend Jeff and try to get to the bottom of the whole terrorist stalking thing. Chuck and Jeff decide to hang out after hours at the Buy More and the night’s featured entertainment is 12 beers, Jeff’s drinking pants and an Air Supply music video/photo montage of Anna that Jeff’s been working on in his spare time. Of course, Buster is in the store after closing as well. What efficiency expert would ever leave once the store closed for the day? He spots the drinking and the video of Anna who he already thinks might be a prostitute.
Chuck eventually brings up the fact that there was a creepy guy poking around the Buy More looking for Jeff, but Jeff is not surprised. It was only a matter of time before one of his fans tracked him down. Chuck doesn’t know why Jeff would have fans but Jeff pulls out an old videotape and slides it into the player while Chuck begs the gods “please, please, please don’t let it be a porno.” Of course it’s not a porno, it’s the local news from the day Jeff won the Missile Command championship. Turns out Chuck used to be pretty good at Missile Command back in the day.
The news feed shows the president of Atari handing Jeff his trophy and Chuck flashes on the guy. Just then, the terrorist and some of his terror buddies show up at the Buy More and Casey rushes in to extract Chuck, but Chuck won’t leave without Jeff, who’s passed out. So Chuck carries him to safety.
There’s some silly side story about Ellie thinking Chuck has given up his dreams of going back to college and eventually becoming “someone.” And there’s a somewhat humorous story-line with Jeff’s best friend Lester and Chuck’s best friend Morgan thinking that Chuck and Jeff have become best friends and trying to form an alliance or their own.
Sarah shows up and drags Chuck out to brief him on the new intel that came in about the Atari guy who Chuck flashed on. Turns out he worked not just for Atari, but also for the Japanese military. The creator of Missile Command actually controls missiles – via satellite. The missile satellite has been inoperative for years but it could be controlled if the terrorists can find the control codes.
Chuck and Casey, dressed as Nerd Herders, head over to the Atari guy’s office, but they are laughed out of the building by all the computer science PhDs hanging around in the lobby. Sarah, also dressed as a Nerd Herder (only with a mini-skirt and skin tight shirt) has no problem getting past all the geeks in the lobby and she distracts them while Chuck and Casey sneak into Atari guy’s office. Chuck finds the right office, or rather the creepy terrorist guy finds Chuck as he’s leaving the office and he pushes Chuck inside and runs off. Inside, Chuck finds the Missile Commander listening to Rush (Tom Sawyer) and playing Missile Command feverishly. Atari guy tells Chuck that the terrorists took the command code he had hidden on the kill screen of the Missile Command video game and then turned the machine into bomb. Casey drops in and grabs Chuck and pushes him into the elevator just as the video game explodes.
Back at the Orange Orange, General Grandma tells Chuck that the satellite is approaching the West Coast and the Air Force has been ordered to target it with a nuclear weapon. Chuck thinks there’s a better way to get the code, by getting Jeff to get to the Missile Command kill screen – but the deadline is fast approaching. General Grandma tells Chuck he can try, but if he doesn’t get the code in time she has no choice but to order the satellite be shot down.
Chuck sets up an elaborate Missile Command exhibition, featuring champion Jeff Barnes. There’s a huge crowd of video game nerds on hand to watch and the local news shows up to cover the event. Chuck flashes on the news truck and realizes that the terrorists are using a news station office to control the missile satellite. Sarah runs to find the terrorists at the station, while Chuck tries to get Jeff to play the game, but he’s got terrible stage fright and he’s unable to perform. Chuck, who you’ll remember, was pretty good at Missile Command back in the day himself, will have to take the stage and try to beat the game.
His first attempt is an epic failure, but then he remembered that the Atari guy was listening to Tom Sawyer while he played the game and he gets Morgan to blast it over the store’s loudspeakers. He then goes on to try to beat the game while Sarah beats up the terrorists and Casey waits with his finger on the button to launch the nuke. Chuck beats the game and makes it to the kill screen just in time to give Sarah the codes so she can take control of the satellite and put it into a decaying orbit that will burn it up in the atmosphere. Casey doesn’t get to launch the nuke and looks kind of disappointed.
Big Mike announces that there’s a new Buy More assistant manager and it’s guess who? Buster! The Sarah pulls some strings and gets Chuck his diploma from Stamford. He was just 12 credits shy after all and the U.S. Government felt his field work qualified as a 12 credit internship.
After all the excitement dies down, and the crowds have gone home, Jeff takes on the Missile Command game. Trying to make a kill screen of his own.
I am a dumbass, just FYI. :)
ReplyDeletedumbass??? why
ReplyDelete