Boston LegalGuardians and Gatekeepers
Original Air Date: Sept 29, 2008
Kathryn – TwoCents Reviewer
kathryn@twocentscorp.com
It’s the return of the filly rustling disgusting talking Texan Hoot Boy! I’m sure the man is lovely in real life, but there are not enough words to describe this character: disgusting, degrading, person who should be dead, don’t cover it. He’s just the man you’d thing would be perfect to cope with the sensitive case of underage rape in a private prison. Oh boy! This episode is going to one heck of a hoot, or… more a game of ‘pick a box’ according to Hoot Boy because if they don’t take his offer he’s going to take their little filly out and give her a good old run.
Oddly enough the father of raped girl doesn’t think consigning her fate to ‘Pick A Deal’ is very sensitive. Jerry and Katie are also not into Hoot Boy’s world view so they aren’t in either.
Read more of the hoot...
[photo: ABC.com]
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Boston Legal
ReplyDeleteGuardians and Gatekeepers
Original Air Date: Sept 29, 2008
Kathryn – TwoCents Reviewer
kathryn@twocentscorp.com
It’s the return of the filly rustling disgusting talking Texan Hoot Boy! I’m sure the man is lovely in real life, but there are not enough words to describe this character: disgusting, degrading, person who should be dead, don’t cover it. He’s just the man you’d thing would be perfect to cope with the sensitive case of underage rape in a private prison. Oh boy! This episode is going to one heck of a hoot, or… more a game of ‘pick a box’ according to Hoot Boy because if they don’t take his offer he’s going to take their little filly out and give her a good old run.
Oddly enough the father of raped girl doesn’t think consigning her fate to ‘Pick A Deal’ is very sensitive. Jerry and Katie are also not into Hoot Boy’s world view so they aren’t in either.
Read more of the hoot
That’s the least CP&S’s worries: Shirley’s granddaughter committed a (another) felony and has voted in the primary even though she’s seventeen. Denny also seems believe Shirley’s granddaughter should also get to enjoy other rights not yet afforded to her under statute, but he is stopped in his tracks by a little tap from Shirley. Denny’s not too sure if he’s more upset he stopped breathing, he lost his chance with Miss Tiny Schimdt or that Alan gave him mouth to mouth. But to kill the suspense: Denny lives. Oh like you can kill of Captain Kirk?
‘Old Guy’, ie Carl, gets to keep Grammy’s favourite kid out of the Big House, while Alan and Shirley get to lecture Denny about the various was he should not try to kill himself.
Denny assures them he has been getting all his medical information from House and TV ads. Shirley and Alan look very stern, but when Denny ‘and a bit from Grey’s Anatomy’, they both start to cry. Remember kids: television is a bad place to get medical advice from. Actually it really is. There is an infamous House promo shot of him in the pharmacy clinic and the more astute dog owners of the world noticed he was surrounded by Vetinary drugs. Handy if Scooby Doo was every the patient of the week I suppose?
Carl’s not doing too well either when he nearly lands his ex-lover’s granddaughter (Shirley) in jail. Fortunately just in time he reminds the judge before you sentence someone you need a trial. So producer David E Kelly gets Carl to remind everyone of the war(s), a failing education system; a 9.4 trillion dollar debt; a non-existent national healthcare system; unbelievable poverty; a looming recession; the broken economy; the backdoor draft and global warming.
Kids maybe just kids but he doesn’t think there’s anything more they can do to screw it up and in the ‘so called’ land of the free he feels more people should be free to vote. They don’t exactly win, but it’s fifty fifty. Like most elections: terrible or great things can happen on the flip of a coin.
Denny’s back up to Alan hugging form. Denny’s pissed and he’s looking for someone to sue. We’ve done big tobacco so now it’s big drug companies for making people believe they are sick and then mysteriously having the cure for what ails ‘em. Gosh them drug companies are clever ain’t they? Luckily the judge has also had a bad experience with Aspirin and it’s on for man and Viagra.
Hoot Boy
And here we go: Rape. There’s not really anything I can say that won’t resonant with anyone, evenly remotely involved with it. Let’s just say the image of Hoot Boy plopped down in his boxers with the case, a cheeseburger and a drink from Slurp and Gulp isn’t pretty. Fortunately Jerry and Katie very eloquently make the point any sentence involving the words ‘prison’, ‘child’, ‘rape’ and ‘profit’ isn’t a good one. But any sentence involving ‘Jerry’, ‘Katie’ and ‘potential hanky panky’ is a good one.
You live every year as if it’s your last
You have to in American TV land. Soon your balcony could be part of the next prime time Emmy hit sci-fi/cop/legal/medical drama. Denny and Alan know this is their last year, but that doesn’t mean they are going to go quietly or shut up about it. There could be fishing, some Supreme Court action and as always – Shirley.
TV executives make think they are gods, but as James and Bill say about the bond they have created: let no man tear asunder; till death do us part.
Two Cents
Do you guys in American even have two cent coins anymore or is that just part of the lexicon? The smallest we have is the five cent coin. Everything costs $9.95 and you end up with a small stockpile of them and the teller always looks at you funny.
‘Oh… one of those people are you?’ the teller implies as is if you live with 115 cats Then they lean over the counter, squint at you and say loudly and slowly: “You’ll have to count them yourself you know.” Implying they don’t do that sort of thing here. They’re a respectable bank. ‘Sub’ to them means submarine and ‘prime’ means Prime Minister.”
So ‘sub prime’ would be something like an underwater PM. We actually did lose a PM because he went for a swim one day and then he had a bit of trouble trying to run the country from underwater. Not quite as dramatic as JFK. There was JFK - waving and smiling in the back of that car and then there was a lot of grass involved. All our guy did was pick up a towel and say ‘I’m off to the beach’.
Back at the bank the teller takes off her thick rimmed Peter Sellers’ like glasses and points with one shaking crone like finger to the counter with no chairs and where all the pens have been broken off their little pen chains: “Now you go away to that counter, that special counter where we’ve never has the asbestos removed, and you take all those little ‘so called’ coins with you and put them into our little five cent bags. The ones we keep especially ‘for people like you”.
So please: give generously to end this small denomination discrimination that happens in shops and banks all over the world every do. Do your bit and send your two cents today to us: where we will spend it on drugs and alcohol… and sick kittens of course. I mean they wouldn’t actually have got sick if we hadn’t given them so much drugs and alcohol, but who really could have known that kittens and large quantities of illegal drugs did not mix all that well?
Fortunately this tragic kitten abuse can be remedied simply by giving your opinion of Boston Legal. And remember kids. This is the final season. You are never going to get another chance to bitch about it again.
Are you sad? Are you happy that you will never have to see Denny and Alan corrupting the time honoured male ritual of bonding by drinking and smoking, then spoiling it by holding hands and talking about their feelings?
Do it now. Shove your hand down your pants and pull it out: the two cents. Everyone has a brilliant opinion and everyone sees different things. So do it for yourself; do it for the wonderful actors; but most of all do it for the kittens.