Big Shots"Three’s a Crowd"
Original Air Date: October 18, 2007
Shawn P - TwoCents Staff Writer
Previously on “Grote Schoten” (the Babelfish translation of “Big Shots” into Dutch, of course), schenanigans out the ying yang. James traded in Thomas Magnum’s ride for a classic muscle car I’d sell one of my kids for, which led to a near pootie shoplifting from a single mom. Duncan couldn’t shake the Tranny Hooker blues, but kept Cam on the fast track, Brody grated nerves of viewers nationwide, and King Karl Mixworthy continued to give adultery a bad name.
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Big Shots
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Original Air Date: October 18, 2007
Shawn P - TwoCents Staff Writer
Previously on “Grote Schoten” (the Babelfish translation of “Big Shots” into Dutch, of course), schenanigans out the ying yang. James traded in Thomas Magnum’s ride for a classic muscle car I’d sell one of my kids for, which led to a near pootie shoplifting from a single mom. Duncan couldn’t shake the Tranny Hooker blues, but kept Cam on the fast track, Brody grated nerves of viewers nationwide, and King Karl Mixworthy continued to give adultery a bad name.
This week on “Big Shots: Three’s a Crowd,” Jack Tripper and Vicky move into the apartment above the restaurant Jack and Vicky’s dad co-own. Hilarity ensues. Allegedly.
Oops, wrong “Three’s a Crowd” (this is apparently not the one also known as “Three’s Company Too”). But “Three’s a Crowd” is the title of tonight’s Big Shots. Duncan, James, and Karl all deal with third wheels. Brody carries himself with the quiet dignity of George Harrison as his other three mates get all the focus. Actually, he makes crude sex jokes. But one can dream, dammit…
We start out on the golf range, where Brody posits that not having sex improves your game. Explains why Tiger Woods married such an uggo. Duncan says relationships come in all forms, and speaking of happy endings, Brody’s been put in charge of the Tranny Hooker fiasco. Way to delegate, Duncan!
The catalysts this week are as follows: Katie recommends casual sex to James but forgets to suggest herself as the obvious partner, Marla and her multiple personalities move in with Wendy and Karl, and Duncan and Liz are still going at it like rabbits. And of course, Cam is still catching Duncan and Liz in the act. You’d think that getting walked in on by his daughter time and time again would bother Duncan. Nope, having to say he’s monogamous is what gives him the heeby jeebies. To each their own…
James flirts with a consultant who looks like Jennifer Beals. Beals has to spell it out – James, I’m hitting on you. All this witty banter – I’m starting to suspect they’re ripping all this off from old “Thin Man” movies… Jennifer proclaims a deep-rooted alcohol problem, and the lovely young couple head out for drinks.
Beals and James head back to her hotel room. Beals is hot to trot, so James plays Casanova by saying he hasn’t had sex with anyone but his wife in 20 years, so don’t get your hopes up in terms of quality or duration. I really should be taking notes here, because these guys are know how to throw some magical game at the ladies.
Katie and Beals show claws in the boardroom.
Right after grudging proclaiming his monogamy, Duncan gets caught smooth-talking some random hottie. Liz gets jealous, so Duncan reiterates the morning pledge, only with fewer tears.
Back on the golf course, Duncan invites the clan to fashion week. Brody discovers Terrance is likely behind the purloined black book. Yawn. Brody never gets to be the center of his own storyline. He’s comic relief. Allegedly. Oh wait, he was the center of the testicle shaving storyline, I just erased the traumatic memory from my mind. Nevermind.
Terrance tells Brody he doesn’t have the book, but if he finds it, he’ll publish it. Why not just plant the rumor on this thing called the interwebnetsomething? I here you don’t need hard evidence there, just a fuzzy cell phone video.
Karl continues to get his own storyline, which strikes me now as a retelling of the Richard Gere movie “Intersection” minus the happy ending where he dies. And save your cards and letters, I didn’t ruin the movie for you; I just gave you back 2 hours of your life that would otherwise been lost forever. Plus, the movie’s 13 years old. It’s not a spoiler, it’s a history lesson.
Wendy asks Karl to set up a depressed Marla with someone just like him, only taller and more muscular. Hey, Wendy? Have you seen this guy without a shirt lately? Karl’s not happy about playing matchmaker, so Brody suggests picking a loser. Um, Karl – maybe Brody’s available. Marla likes married men, after all, and we still haven’t gotten a glimpse of Lady MacBeth.
Karl finds his loser in his company – Bill Nye the Science Guy. Marla uses him to make Karl jealous, mainly by having loud relations with him in Karl’s house. That’s just rude, in my humble opinion. Bill Nye works for Karl’s company, and goes over to his house to ravage a house guest? That’s not going to look good on his next performance evaluation.
Second half of the episode kicks off with the fashion show, where various women throw themselves at Duncan, and Jennifer Beals tells James it’s obvious that Katie totally wants to marry him and have like a million babies. James takes this as a sign to go back and play streamline the processes with the consultant. Are these billable hours for her?
Cam catches a woman slipping a key to Duncan and storms off. Why? Just because dad is a hot piece of man meat? I guess so. Duncan huffs off, leaving the party to find one of his slimy model-types asking for quickie in his apartment. There’s so much sex in this show I’m running out of synonyms and euphemisms (I’m not proud of “streamline the processes,” trust me). Duncan declines, to the surprise of… Duncan.
Cam goes home to find Liz and Terrance “having dinner.” In the boudoir? Aha, the slut isn’t Duncan, it’s Liz! A twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan himself! Cam stops on a dime and is now Duncan’s biggest supporter.
Liz comes clean about her Terrance nookie. Duncan cries a little, then arranges to have her killed. Wait, I think he actually said he’d give Liz a little time and space, or whatever she needs. I like my idea better.
Marla tells Wendy, in front of Karl, that she had to fake her “enthusiasm” with her last lover, but not with Bill Nye, who rocks not only science, but also Marla. Bill Nye gives Karl the news that he can’t move in with Marla because she’s a total clingy drag. Agreed, Science Guy, agreed. But he makes Karl break the news to Marla, because frankly, she’s scary. Karl lies to spare her feelings, when he should be sharing the news with sky-writing and the Icky Shuffle. Hence, nothing gets solved.
Katie gets all huffy about being proposed for a transfer to Seattle. Hey, Seattle’s great, Katie. And maybe you’re not exactly their first choice either, ever think of that? James rescues Katie, keeps her in New York, and the consultant conveniently goes away (to Seattle, maybe). James shares Katie’s theory of like how she’s totally smitten with him. Katie says she has a date. James goes home and takes a vow of chastity, because you just can’t win with these women.
The episode ends with a showdown between Duncan and Terrance. Duncan challenges Terrance to a duel at dawn over the right to Liz’s hand, then gets a mysterious text message in the middle of the night from someone who has the black book.
I give this week’s Big Shots a dirty look, a slap on the rear, and a lip sore of indeterminate provenance. Next week, James’s ex starts dating one of the rejects from Mystery Men. I hope it’s the guy that throws spoons.
I'm enjoying your recaps of "Big Shots" and am looking forward to reading the one for "Greatest Amerimart Hero".
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