Big Shots"Greatest Amerimart Hero"
Original Air Date: October 25, 2007
Shawn P - TwoCents Staff Writer
Last week on Big Shots… ah, who cares. This week’s episode is titled Greatest Amerimart Hero, and I can’t concentrate because I’m fighting the urge to try to find out whatever happened to William Kaat through extensive time-crushing use of Google.
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Original Air Date: October 25, 2007
Shawn P - TwoCents Staff Writer
Last week on Big Shots… ah, who cares. This week’s episode is titled Greatest Amerimart Hero, and I can’t concentrate because I’m fighting the urge to try to find out whatever happened to William Kaat through extensive time-crushing use of Google.
Anyway, James delivers a fancy-pants lecture to the Amerimart board, when he gets interrupted by his secretary regarding a phone call on project “GoalPost” which happens to be code for your little rugrat is totally messed up over your divorce and needs attention.
James meets Nick when he goes to pick up his kids, who inform him that Nick is “mommy’s new boy toy” or something to that effect. By the way, James’ kid is apparently named Dash. When he marries, does that make his wife Mrs. Dash? (Oh yeah, that’s totally going into my act when I retire from the lucrative blogging game and start working the Pocono circuit.)
Brody tears up in the sauna over James and his kids. And everyone laughs. Except me.
James tells Katie that the board approved their proposals, but nobody’s happy about “Project Goalpost.” James asks her to grill his kids about New Daddy.
Katie learns New Daddy is independently wealthy and is more fun than a barrel of monkeys. James fights with his ex-wife over Nick. He then tries to buy Dash’s love by dressing up for his birthday party as a character from Dash’s favorite TV Show. James shows up as the Silver Comet. Unfortunately, Nick’s dressed as Captain Clobber. They stage a fight, which turns into a real fight, which gets awesome after they crush the table of presents.
The Ex says, say the world and I’ll drop the zero and go back to the hero. If she feels this way, what’s the deal with Nick? Ugh. There’s a reason Kramer vs. Kramer isn’t a weekly TV show. It’s actually depressing, like most of this episode turned out to be.
If you’re wondering (I know you’re not), the Mixworthy’s are still in therapy. Nell Carter asks how long it’s been since they’ve had relations, and Karl pulls out a mental almanac, noting… “hmm, there was frost on the trees…” I admit it; that was my Karl giggle ever.
The World’s Worst Support group tells Karl that sex with his wife is like riding a bike, meaning close your eyes and think of the Tour De France.
Wendy greets Karl wearing no pants. This is obviously the “no pants” episode. Karl’s quite pleased with the encounter, Wendy less so. Marla apparently gave her “pointers” including a move call the Argentinean Honeybee... When Karl makes an awkward attempt for more Argentinean Honeybee, Wendy turns frigid. Marla lets on that Wendy was not as satisfied with the transaction as Karl, and Marla herself never enjoyed that part of their relationship, by the way, either.
To top it all off, Wendy catches Marla giving Karl sex lessons, and assumes the worst.
This totally turns Wendy on, and as she threatens divorce, they go at it like animals. I pause the Tivo and give myself a Karen Silkwood shower.
In side plots, Tranny Hooker’s Little Black Book is the topic de jour at the links, where Duncan worries about Lizzie finding out about the indiscretion.
Duncan and Cam discuss something about her new role at Reveal, but I missed most of it because Cam’s not wearing pants. Technically, it’s a mini-skirt, but functionally, some ABC censor fell asleep at the switch.
Duncan, preparing to leave for a romantic getaway with Lisbeth, gets a text message from “unknown” saying -- time to pay up, $100K, tonight. He cancels the trip, but makes up the lie that “the Japanese are making a run at Reveal, buying up all the stock.” DUMB!! This is the kind of thing that’s easily verifiable. All Liz would have to do is go inside at turn on CNBC. In lying, the injudicious use of detail is always a bad move. Boo, Duncan. BOO!
Brody gets teary at the club again. Karl hypothesizes that Brody is having sympathetic PMS. He calls this He-MS. This is hard to watch, really.
Cam exposes Duncan’s (Stoopid!!) hostile takeover lie. Duncan prepares to go black-ops on the ransom drop, which they totally bungle, upsetting the blackmailer, who at a distance resembles the Hamburglar. Lisbeth confronts Duncan on the lie. Duncan refuses to go into details. Again, wrong move, Dunc. This is where MORE LYING is appropriate. Geez, Louise. The tone of the conversation doesn’t bode well for a happy ending with Lisbeth. On the plus side, Cam gets a love interest. At least someone’s happy in this show. He’s a new Reveal intern who lives to collate (don’t ask). She asks him out immediately, because they’re co-workers. Of course, it turns out he’s a spy.
Liz gives Terrence another chance, and a mystery buyer purchases the Tranny Hooker’s Black Book. Duncan goes to Lisbeth’s to confess the whole story. Before he does, Terrence shows up, and Duncan goes bananas. Give it up, man. It’s over. Terrence bought the Black Book but gives it to Duncan because he really cares for Liz and doesn’t want to see her hurt. Dude, Duncan, you’re toast!
Next week, Duncan tries to off himself. Remember the whole portmanteau conversation? This was a dramedy, right? Because it feels like a Greek tragedy now.
I give this week’s Big Shots a lifetime supply of Prozac and a strongly worded invitation to lighten up, dude.
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