American Idol Season 7
Auditions Round 1 - Philadelphia
Original Air Date: January 15, 2008
Janelle F - TwoCents Staff Writer
Excuse me for a second; let me clear my throat to sound more like Ryan Seacrest....
Welcome to American Idol (AI) Season 7…did I sound like Ryan at all??
Well, let’s get to the good stuff.
We start off Season 7 in Philadelphia. We are treated to a tour of Philly and a brief history as well. Did you know Ben Franklin was from Philly? Neither did I.
We are told this is a record setting crowd for AI and then we meet our 1st contestant of the season, Joey. Joey has lost 200lbs and that is his story. He sings Maroon 5’s Sunday Morning and does it justice. My daughter, aka my mini me, gives him a 5 out of 5 and I kinda agree though I don’t like Maroon 5. Therefore, I do have to knock a point off for that. But despite what I think, the judges love him and he’s not only our 1st contestant, he is the 1st one off to Hollywood.
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American Idol Season 7
ReplyDeleteAuditions Round 1 - Philadelphia
Original Air Date: January 15, 2008
Janelle F - TwoCents Staff Writer
Excuse me for a second; let me clear my throat to sound more like Ryan Seacrest....
Welcome to American Idol (AI) Season 7…did I sound like Ryan at all??
Well, let’s get to the good stuff.
We start of Season 7 in Philadelphia . We are treated to a tour of Philly and a brief his history as well. Did you know Ben Franklin was from Philly? Neither did I.
We are told this is a record setting crowd for AI and then we meet our 1st contestant of the season, Joey. Joey has lost 200lbs and that is his story. He sings Maroon Five’s Sunday Morning and does it justice. My daughter, aka my mini me, gives him a 5 out of 5 and I kinda agree though I don’t like Maroon 5. Therefore, I do have to knock a point off for that. But despite what I think, the judges love him and he’s not only our 1st contestant, he is the 1st one off to Hollywood .
We then meet “sexy face” (his friend told him that he had a sexy face- I 100% disagree!) Alllaaalay?? I never did understand his name, but he likes to go by Ukca. He can’t speak American well, but is destined to be the our next AI winner. Through his heavy ascent I swear I heard him say the word, “nipple” and I can’t figure out why he said that word? But he sings the Bee Gees and does exactly what we expect, terrible and as Simon would say, “He’s off…” No golden ticket.
Next is a back up singer for Taylor Hicks and of course, she gets a ticket.
James Lewis is next and he informs us that he has been told he sounds like an Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam, a black Eddie Vedder. He was encouraged to audition by his co-workers and as soon as he opens his mouth, the AI audience knows that his co-workers played a horrible, very mean life altering practical joke. This guy REALLY believes he can sing and if it wasn’t so funny hearing him sing and watching the judges try to hide their own laughter, it would almost be heartbreaking that he didn’t get a golden ticket.
Next up is Junot Joyner, he sings Elton John I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues . I forgot how much I liked this song till he sang it and ROCKED it! We will be seeing him in Hollywood .
Then it’s the time filler of people who are going to Hollywood .
After that, is a 16 year old female football player. She is there with her mother who is wheelchair bound and anybody with heart would hope this girl can sing because she really does deserve this…but it wasn’t meant to be. She can’t sing, and won’t be going to Hollywood . She doesn’t want to walk out of the room and tell her mother because she doesn’t want to disappoint her, but Simon says that they will all walk with her out and we see a very warm side of Simon as he walks her out and all the judges clap for her and tell her how awesome she is. However, as they were standing out in the hallway, I couldn’t help but notice, did Simon really get breast implants? I read that in one of my tabloids and I have to say that it kinda looks like it.
Back to the show.
We have a mixture of the entire crowd and individuals singing, “I Love Rock and Roll.”
Then we meet Alexis. I can’t say for sure if this person is a guy or girl, almost like at first I couldn’t tell if Chris Crocker was a guy or girl, but we’ll move on. Alexis if VERY glittery and we are told her/his story of how he/she wants to be vet. He/she is front of the judges and sings “Don’t You Want Somebody To Love.” And he/she actually does ok. But the judges very nicely tell her/him that he/she should be in a cover band and AI isn’t for her/him. Alexis seems to take it well but once outside the judges’ room decides to take this as a personal attack and GOES OFF! They have to pull out the AI blue censors to cover mouths, fingers and the whole 9 yards. It was a little dramatic. But after it is all said and done, Alexis now wants to be an actor/actress.
Onto Hour 2
Lots of people getting the prized golden ticket and some no’s thrown in for good measure.
Our next constant is a young mother with a disable child who sings full time. I am sure she is going to be great and she is. She is off to Hollywood .
Now it is Day 2 in Philly and we meet a girl who knows how to do a good striper dance, but can’t sing. She gets louder as she sings and gets worst the louder she gets. My ears actually hurt!
Next up is Milo, a “39” year old, but I’m thinking more like 50 who wants to sing for the judges a song about not having sex or something like that. It wasn’t funny and nobody was laughing.
We are then treated to yet another inspirational story and by the end of her story we want her to be the next AI and as Randy would say, “This girl can blow!”
It’s time for a “waste of time” moment, isn’t it? So, we are introduced to a vampire, wait no, it’s a male belly dancer or at least what a man in a male belly dancer would wear. However, he has chest hair and this bothers Paula so he offers to have it waxed before he sings. We will meet up with him later.
More bad, bad and worse. But here comes Paul and he wrote a song for Paula. Now, I doubt this is on YouTube just yet, but it’s bound to be. THIS SONG IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE SEEN IN A WHILE! You HAVE to YouTube it! I promise as soon as I find the link I will post it! He talks about stalking Paula and chalking her, and breaking in her house and wearing her underwear and it goes on and on to the point he has to be escorted out. It’s a shame too because his voice wasn’t half bad, but that song, it is bound to be a classic YouTube hit, mark my words.
Oh Good Mr. Vampire Chest Hair Guy is back, with a WAXED a chest I might add. He gets oh about two words out and Simon says it’s enough and he on his way.
Chris Watson is up next and he sings Follow Me by Uncle Cracker. My mini me gives him a 5 and so do I. Simon says he looks like a star and I agree. He too is off to Hollywood .
More no’s are next.
Then we have a female Mega Star Wars fan and we just know this isn’t going to turn out good in any way shape or form and it doesn’t. She leaves and like so many of them do, goes off … but we haven’t seen the last of her.
Our last contestant is Broke White who doesn’t watch R rated movies, but she can sing. She is off to Hollywood but I have to wonder about a girl who doesn’t watch R rated movies and wants to go to Hollywood and be in an industry known for Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll??
As the show ends and we are treated to all kinds of people who received a golden ticket, we hear Ms. Mega Star Wars Fan on her cell talking about how all AI wants is cookie cutter people and nobody that is the least bit different. Yet, we see all these images of people moving on to Hollywood who look anything but cookie cutter.
Tomorrow night we are off to Kelly Clarkson’s home state of Texas …see you there!
love the review now i dont have to spend my time watching two hours of simon's rude and lude comments
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