DSM "The Wedding"
Original Air Date: November 14, 2007
Shawn P - TwoCents Staff Writer
Episode 7 of DSM opens with Karen getting all kinds of carnal with the Freddy the Golf Pro. Pan back to reveal Reverend Brian sitting at the foot of the bed. See? That’s why I love this show. Evil Reverend, the break-out character of the season, gives the shallow couple a pep talk for their nuptials that basically breaks down to “although no one cares what you say, the wedding is real, and I’m a real Priest, and I’m gonna smite you if you mock this ceremony.” First spin-off: The Reverend Brian Variety Hour. Gustav as a Andy Richter-like side-kick. Special musical guests that Brian can berate between sets. Just thinking out loud here.
But Karen’s getting cold feet.
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DSM
ReplyDelete"The Wedding"
Original Air Date: November 14, 2007
Shawn P - TwoCents Staff Writer
Episode 7 of DSM opens with Karen getting all kinds of carnal with the Freddy the Golf Pro. Pan back to reveal Reverend Brian sitting at the foot of the bed. See? That’s why I love this show. Evil Reverend, the break-out character of the season, gives the shallow couple a pep talk for their nuptials that basically breaks down to “although no one cares what you say, the wedding is real, and I’m a real Priest, and I’m gonna smite you if you mock this ceremony.” First spin-off: The Reverend Brian Variety Hour. Gustav as a Andy Richter-like side-kick. Special musical guests that Brian can berate between sets. Just thinking out loud here.
But Karen’s getting cold feet.
Karen, who apparently never learns, goes to get some motherly advice from Tish that degenerates into “I chose your Dad, my mistake.” The Art of De-motivation, yet again perfected by the Darling clan. Tish asks Nick to set the pre-wedding jitters straight and confront Karen with the newsflash that it’s never going to happen between them. Cause it’s always nice to hear on your special day that you’re not worthy of being loved. See Nick, now you won’t have to get her a present!
Patty, now aligned with Simon Elder, uses his position to take a swipe at Tripp. Tripp retaliates by drinking at 9AM. That’ll show ‘em! Actually, he explains he’s drinking because his daughter is getting married. That’ll show ‘er! Or maybe he’s drinking because his wife loved Pseudo-Dutch? That’ll fix it! Regardless, he’s guzzling, and manages to rope in Nick. Tequila!
Oh boy, Gustav’s mamacita is back, and I think she’s now being played by Laura Palmer. I smell peligroso. (I know Gustav isn’t a Spanish name, but I can only work with the tools I’ve been given, and none of those tools include a functional knowledge of Swedish). Yeah, it takes about ten seconds… THEY. GET. IT. ON. Oh Reverend Bri, why art though so freakin’ awesome?
Gnat drops a single on America, inspired by her break-up with Jewels. Germs goes apoplectic; Jewels is touched. And when I say Jewels is touched, I don’t mean her IQ is less than 70. At least I don’t think that’s what I mean.
Nick and Lisa argue over Karen, and Lisa begs out of the wedding party. Rugrat George makes a cameo then slinks back to the locked basement I assume she’s kept in most episodes.
Patty’s wife confronts him over Tranny Hooker. Jeez, I forgot he was even married. Tripp’s three sheets by the time Patty confronts him for possibly spilling the beans. Tripp deflects the accusation with “here, have a shot of Tequila.” I’m going to try that on the wife next time she accuses me of something. I’ll let you know how that goes.
Nick goes to drop his bombshell, but Karen cuts him short with a little dose of “get over yourself.” Dang skippy.
Tripp explains the Japanese word for the beauty and mortality of all things to his daughter. He tells her to be kind, to be fair, to be true… she says you can save the speech, this is marriage number 4. Tripp walks her down the aisle. Nobody looks happy but Freddy.
Reverend Brian sends the happy couple into the mystery of marriage with a speech on the three C’s - Confirmation, Consolation, and… Joy. Seriously awesome speech, but what can expect from the evil Reverend?
Immediately after the ceremony, Freddy admits he didn’t love Karen at first, but now he does. He proposes, despite the fact that they got married about 10 minutes ago. That’s all it takes - Karen asks Tripp to get the divorce proceeding underway immediately. She can “tell when these things won’t work out.” Nick gets to play hatchet man and break the news to the newlywed husband. Freddy takes it pretty well - $3M for about an hour of marriage. Of course, he manages to take the high road when, in passing, he mentions to Karen that she’s sure to die alone and that’s what she deserves anyway.
Post-annulment, Karen puts the moves on Nick, and says it’s true, I do love you. Nick considers returning her kiss, but doesn’t, hopefully because Rugrat is roaming about somewhere near.
Patty goes to Simon Elder to confess his Tranny Hooker relationship, and to ask for advice about dealing with Ellen. Simon tells him the public is starved for truth, so fess up. Patty! Honesty is never the best policy. Neither is telling secrets to Simon Elder, apparently, because we learn through subtitles that Simon’s the one feeding info to Ellen in the first place.
Tripp’s still drinking, now with pencil-thin mustache driver, who also deserves his own spin-off. Karen confesses her new world’s record.
When Lisa hears about the annulment, she gets huffy. Really, can Nick help it that he’s such a tasty piece of man-meat? Would she rather no one want him?
Patty let’s the wife in on Tranny Hooker, without mentioning the Tranny part. It actually goes much better than you’d think, I think because the Tranny part goes unsaid.
Jewels and Gnat reunite. I smell peligroso there, too, but there’s not enough time left this week.
Laura Palmer confesses that she’s really there to bring Gustav back with her to Brazil. Skank! Evil Reverend’s been set-up. The over-under on episodes before he has her killed is four. Palmer wins this round, but the war is far from over. Gustav leaves… for now.
Karen tells Tish… don’t I really owe it to myself to try and ruin Nick’s marriage? That’s rhetorical, right? Hello? Tish offers… to help! I give up.
The episode ends with Tripp vowing to end Simon Elder. Scenes from next week prepare us for a happy T-Giving dinner with Karen, Lisa, Tripp, Simon, and all the rest holding hands and singing Kumbaya over Turkey and Stuffing. Not.
I gave this episode a grade, but it was quickly annulled.