I said to a friend once “I don’t know what I want out of a Transformers movie, but I'm sure what I’ve watched in the previews isn’t it”. Well I was right.
Now prejudging the awfulness of a Michael Bay summer blockbuster doesn’t make me Nostradomus. After such wonderfully awful films like Pearl Harbor, and Bad Boys II, I think we can all agree he peaked with Armageddon. Yet the studios still gives this guy a ton of money to play with and yet he can’t make this movie feel like anything but a re-run.
We have seen these awful action sequences where nothing you do can defeat the enemy and the young hero has nothing in common with the shallow girl who is out of his league. Of course she’s “more then meets the eye”. Yeah, they use that awful Transformers joke. Which brings me to the constant need for this movie to try and make you laugh. Less is more fellas!!! You can’t create comic relief if all you’re trying to do is get laughs. Shia LaBeouf has his charm and John Turturro brings a fun energy, but neither of this actors can pull you out of the tailspin that is this script.
The plot is boring and takes too long to unfold while the relationships have no heart and are clichés. Another problem is the special effects don’t add to the movie. They are good at points and at other points look like special effects. The transforming in the movie is the most disappointing part. There are a couple of times that it looks cool, but for the most part it doesn’t look like they are transforming. And the sound stunk, and it was part of the plot too.
If you are determined not to remake the cartoon version of the Transformers, then make it better! Or don’t get us excited about it.
A generous C-
[submitted by Maty]